What is your book called? Be Still---a journey for body, mind, and spirit by Katy Willis (unless the title somehow gets changed along the way)
When and where will it be available? TBD. Right now my manuscript is in the hands of the first publishing company I have approached. I don't have a contract yet and I could use your prayers! It's uncomfortably premature to announce it; however, I am committed to this book and its message. I hope to grow an eager audience ready to receive it when it is available. It HAS to come out! Somehow, whether in physical or digital form, this book and its message will be available. I just don't have a timeline or publishing details...yet. More details when I do have them.
What is this book about? I did my best to take my story out of the story. I focus on the doctrines, principles, patterns, and tools that helped Mark and I navigate towards recovery. I share the most potent insights gleaned from professionals, holistic approaches, and spiritual sources as I discuss what has brought Mark and I hope in our individual lives, helped us tackle the roots of addiction and co-addiction, and heal our marriage. I illuminate the essence of recovery by exploring the body, mind, and spirit connection that can lead to a personal knowledge of God, for true and lasting recovery only comes through knowing God intimately.
The book is broken up into three sections and is centered around the familiar verse in Psalms and repeated again in D&C, "Be still and know God." It is my goal to lead the reader to a personal connection with their Higher Power. For me, that means God, whom I access through Jesus Christ. In the first section of the book we explore what it means to be still, clearing away the clutter, and really focusing. In the second section we discuss what is most worthy to rest our attention and efforts on. We break down each aspect of the Fall and how it applies to us personally, and therefore, how the Atonement applies personally as well. After having gone through the details of this journey for ourselves, the last section covers how best to support those around us both inside and outside our homes in their own journey towards knowing God personally.
Although there are a few sections that would likely be most appealing to spouses or loved-ones supporting an addict (or who have in the past), I am confident my book is overall written in a way that would lend support to the addict's journey as well. And I believe it would be of interest to an even broader audience as well. Even though it was my husband's addiction that gave me these experiences and the resulting knowledge, the things that I have learned are universal. What is the 12-step program? It's simply the gospel. And so is the message of my book as well. This book is a desirable read for any Christian wanting to know how personal application of the Atonement can help her/him draw closer to God.
Why did I decide to write a book? What honestly sparked the idea was my dad hounding me since last fall. :) I never pictured myself capable of such an endeavor! Although I love to read and enjoy writing, I never considered myself an author. He finally asked me point blank if I had thought about it at all. I hadn't. I committed to seriously consider it past initial dismissal and realized my question wasn't actually, "Can I write a book?" but really, "What would my message be?" (Because I have enough experience with God to know He uses the willing and make the inadequate adequate.) Over the course of several months, ideas would come and go, but nothing that felt right, until one day it hit me with power! I knew exactly what my message needed to be! As we have kept in contact with our friends from various recovery groups, it's difficult to hear when our friends are going through divorces or have decided to stay married, but have agreed (either spoken or unspoken) that they are done trying to work this out. I want to make it clear that I have absolutely no judgement at all for the details of others' journeys! Truly, I would be in a similar boat if Mark and I both hadn't decided to work our own separate recoveries then come together to tackle the marriage. But these updates or running into old friends would usually spark a conversation between Mark and I. We would usually end up shrugging our shoulders unsure how we are still standing hand-in-hand and happily married after the mass-destruction and ensuing entanglements of the addiction. That day, it came forcefully to my mind and my heart that it isn't a coincidence. We actually did something. We didn't just have dumb luck nor did our recoveries happen passively. There are patterns! Mark had given me a recent blessing and I was counseled to start paying better attention to the patterns. And in that moment I could see it clearly. In recent years Mark and I both have had others around us try to copy what we did to find their own recovery. The details of our journeys cannot be duplicated, but the patterns can be. It was my job to thread together those parts that can be taught, understood, and applied personally by others. THOSE are the parts that can be "copied" because it isn't me that is being copied at all! It is simply God's patterns and His plan being applied to His children as individuals. And those following in my wake are simply opening their eyes to understand what the gospel of Jesus Christ means for them personally. Within about 3 days I had my rough outline basically filled in and I knew just about exactly the ground that would need to be covered in order to accomplish this message. I had a tender and personal experience that confirmed powerfully that I needed to do this...that I was meant to do this...to stand up tall as God's daughter and open my mouth as a living witness of the reality of Jesus Christ, His grace, and His capacity to change people, to strengthen, and to heal.
What can I do to support your efforts? Pray! Especially right now as this book, and a few other hopefully upcoming projects, are in the hands of decision makers. Also, please share. Even though you may not be supporting a loved-one with sex addiction, I can guarantee you know somebody who is. But chances are they will never tell you. It can be difficult to find the wives of sex-addicts. It's not because we are so few in numbers. It's because there are multiple layers of stigmas and shame associated with his addiction and what it means about us as the wives (or spouse). You know them, you just don't know you know them. Please help me to reach far and wide with this message of hope! That Christ can support us with the burdens of pornography and sex addiction and the aftermath as we seek to heal and move forward, whether individually or as a couple.
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