Ministering from the Inside Out


The exciting change announced at General Conference of moving towards a more ministering focus is not a re-branding of home and visit teaching. It isn't intended to be a new program either. It isn't something we can check off the list and even though it does require us to take action, it is more about being than doing.

How can we truly minister? I believe is has to be from the inside out. Otherwise it isn't ministering. :) In terms of 12-step programs, service is step 12---the very last step. I had spent most of my life trying to do it the other way around---from the outside in---giving to others first and in my own strength and ability. Amazingly, the second to last step in the LDS ARP 12-step program is having the inspiration of the Spirit. Again, neither of these are steps are step 1. I cannot emphasize enough that neither of these steps is where we start because that won't be ministering. It will be something else.

So where do we start? I believe we must start in truly understanding the Creation and the Fall...not just generally, but personally. That means we can finally see our own fallen bodies and our natural man tendencies (which can very often center around those fallen bodies and what makes them feel good). We can see the spiritual implications of being cast out of God's presence and as we are cast out of God's presence, again, we gravitate towards those things that make us feel better as we seek to fill up that void. Again, not just human nature in general, but your own personal human nature and tendencies. We must come to see our "nothingness." That doesn't mean that we don't have potential or that God doesn't love us. It simply means we recognize how powerless we are, especially in relation to our Heavenly Father. For many of us because of pride, stubbornness, or maybe even not being taught pure doctrines (or any other reason), we don't typically come to this conclusion without "help." That help came in many forms for me and my husband. Loss, struggles, and addiction all brought us to finally recognize our nothingness. We were so prideful that we literally had to be to the point where we had just about lost everything before we finally "got it." Summarizing it in a paragraph doesn't do it justice! But this is where we start whether we come to this understanding willingly or we are invited to it through circumstances that compel us to discover it.

Just like we must come to a personal understanding of the Fall, we must next come to a personal understanding of the Atonement and Jesus Christ. Once we have gone through the process of understanding the personal implications of the Fall, we can now receive the good news of the personal implications of the Atonement (see President Benson's take HERE). If we misinterpret our nothingness as worthlessness or we don't press forward to gain even the smallest flicker of hope in Christ that can grow into faith and then a trust in Him, we will become discouraged, despairing, and maybe even bitter or sarcastic. We feel stuck in our nothingness. The adversary can have a heyday at this point in our journey if we don't press forward. The truth is that no matter what we have done or the mistakes we have made, because of Jesus Christ there is always hope! As we begin to allow Christ in and learn to take Him with us into the messes and craziness of our every day lives and as we learn to not only abide in Him, but also abide His love, it is that love that changes us. It is that love that sustains us. The amazing thing that I discovered is that Christ and His love are instantly available. They don't kick in at the very end. I don't have to wait until I "clean up my act" or "get my crap together" before I can access Jesus Christ's strength or love. Don't get me wrong! I used to think that when people alluded to abiding in Christ they were saying that we just kick back and do nothing. That isn't what it means to abide in Christ! As you will see in a moment, abiding is Christ requires much more of us than continuing in our own strength! Again, one paragraph is severely inadequate because each one of us will progress in our personal journeys at different paces and with different details. For some each leg can last months, years, or even decades. We must seek, over a lifetime, to come to a perfect knowledge of the Atonement because everything that we do rests on our ability to understand and allow the Atonement into all the details of our lives.

And as that hope in Christ blossoms into a trust, we are then ready to do whatever God asks us to do. At the top of His list will be an opportunity to begin closely examining our lives. As we try to take this fearless introspection without first firmly building a strong foundation of understanding our nothingness, understanding Christ's power, and trusting God, it will be difficult (or maybe even impossible) to take the necessary action steps to finish this necessary process. As we do it in God's strength through our Savior Jesus Christ, we will be sustained through the rigors of this part of our journey, too. Why does this even matter if we are only seeking to serve other people? What does our past---our sins, weaknesses, tendencies, or even our previous traumatic events---have to do with ministering? As we take inventory of what is in our minds and our hearts and the ways they drive the patterns of beliefs/thoughts/emotions/actions/behaviors, we can become aware of and then do something about what is holding us back from becoming more Christ-like, those things that would otherwise prevent us from truly connecting with others, unresolved issues that consume our energy mentally and emotionally, and the patterns or tendencies that have kept us stuck for so long. It's all here just waiting to be discovered and resolved. I promise that our Savior will help you with the tender details of what's here because He needs you to overcome all of this!

As we are now aware of what is actually there inside of us...the ugly...the shameful...the darkest shades of black...and all the lies we have come to believe about ourselves, others, the way the world works, and even God or Christ Themselves...it's time to clear our heartland from the (often) decades of build up, hiding, and shame. Just like every part of our journey so far, our Savior will be right there and in every detail. We work through the repentance process and begin experiencing repentance as a pattern rather than a one-time event. Repentance isn't God's back up plan in case we mess up. It is God's plan! (See Elder Robbins' talk HERE). We allow Christ's mercy to meet the demands of justice in our own personal lives. We participate in The Great Exchange---exchanging all our sins for His righteousness and His grace. We seek for a mighty change of heart and allow Him, as we have in each step before, to be our constant power source through the challenges of this portion of our journey. A mighty change of heart doesn't mean that we no longer sin, it simply means we no longer desire to do so. As soon as we realize we have made a mistake, we quickly repent and make it right. We seek forgiveness from others and we seek to forgive those who have hurt or harmed us. In short, we allow Christ to help us get our lives in order. Do you believe that is possible? If not, what is the gospel of Jesus Christ then? Christ can change us!!! Christ can strength us to be changed, to repent, and to forgive and seek forgiveness.

Now that the soil of our heart is becoming free from all the harmful weeds of anger, resentment, hate, bitterness, feeling justified in our enmity and division towards God and others, self-centeredness, lasciviousness, idolatry, etc... NOW there is finally room for the "flowers of grace [to] appear." Now there is room for  Christ's very nature to be distilled upon us---another gift of grace by Christ and through the Spirit. He continues to draw us to Him as He refines us and sanctifies us. Just like every other aspect of our journey, this is a personal process. The details will be different for each one of us. That is why this entire life-long journey must be taken privately. Although Christ's Atonement was performed only once, God redeems and exalts each of His children one by one. Now there is finally room for the Spirit to speak for us clearly. Now God can send us on His errand because we can hear His voice. Now we know who and what and how to reach God's children because it's about them, not patting our own ego on the back. And as we petition Heavenly Father on behalf of others and seek to know how to point them to Christ, He answers us! He knows all of His children and loves each one of them. He knows how to criss-cross our lives together (see Elder Rasband's talk HERE) so we are invited to begin or continue in this process and to meet the needs of each one of His children.

And as we seek the gifts of the Spirit and to become more like our Savior, we can seek for the greatest of all gifts---charity. "Wherefore, my beloved brethren, pray unto the Father with all the energy of heart, that ye may be filled with this love, which he hath bestowed upon all who are true followers of his Son, Jesus Christ; that ye may become the sons of God; that when he shall appear we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is; that we may have this hope; that we may be purified even as he is pure. Amen" (Moroni 7:48, emphasis added). To be filled means that charity can be in us, but it isn't of us. It has to come from Christ. It's His love that is in us; it isn't something that we can manufacture ourselves. THEN as we are filled with the Spirit and charity we will be able to reach, love, and serve as Christ would---even with Him...alongside of Him.

I am eternally grateful for those who tirelessly ministered to me and my family like this and patiently taught us how to begin this process in our own lives. We are living proof that ministering works! Although we attended church every week, held temple recommends and callings, and were such good little soldiers, we were still completely lost. Our Savior called to us. Those around us ministered to us in ways that only enhanced what Christ was seeking to do for us. They didn't distract from Him or seek to point us to them, but always, always it was turning us towards Him. They knew that it is Christ who had the power to change our lives and eventually fill us with His love in such a way that it is impossible not to spill out to other seeking and hurting hearts. I feel so privileged for these tender experiences and to have learned these things in such a beautiful way---surrounded by those who sought for inspiration, were filled with charity, and acted as directed by the Spirit and with Christ's love for me. God prepared the way for us to be able to weather through the fiery trials of our faith and the majority of those means came through proper ministering from our ward and stake family.

This is how we minister. It must be from the inside out or it isn't ministering. Christ will continue to call to each one of us and draw us to Him. May we get out of the way and let Him into our own lives and then seek for the privilege of assisting others to do the same. <3




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