Raising a Sin Resistant Generation


When President Nelson gave his talk several years ago ("A Plea to My Sisters") there were things that I instantly and desperately wanted to understand or understand more deeply as a woman in the very latter latter latter days of the winding up scenes on this earth. One of them was this:

"...we need women who have a bedrock understanding of the doctrine of Christ and who will use that understanding to teach and help raise a sin-resistant generation."

...a sin-resistant generation...

There have been insights that have been more obvious and have come easily to me as a mom, a teacher, and a woman who cares about children and loves them. I hope that you can see that my words apply to the ways you parent "your" children whether they are yours by birth, adoption, or essential surrogate parenting as teachers, neighbors, extended family members, or friends. These will be left unwritten at this time, but I have recently uncovered a treasure trove of deeper understanding I hope to share with you here.

To understand the magnitude and context of "sin-resistant," we need to first secure what the doctrine of Christ is, right? A bedrock understanding of the doctrine of Christ is vital to what President Nelson said.  Let's first step to what may appear to be a side-note, but will actually lead to the understanding that we need here.

Each one of us has a personally tailored journey on this earth. God has a plan to save and exalt His children---both collectively, but also individually. He knows what experiences we need to help us return to His presence and to do so having become like Him. He knows the heartaches and difficulties we will face and the obstacles to this process. He knows the ways our lives will criss-cross with each other---both for good and for ill. He knows.  And to help us find our way back Home, He invites us to enter into covenants with Him. Through the ordinance in connection with baptism, hands are laid on our head with Priesthood authority and we are commanded to receive the Holy Ghost. Although there are so many things for us to understand about the significance of this precious, precious gift, it opens the door for us to receive personal revelation.

Elder Bruce R. McConkie said the following, "Now I say that we are entitled to revelation. I say that every member of the Church, independent and irrespective of any position that he may hold, is entitled to get revelation from the Holy Ghost; he is entitled to entertain angels; he is entitled to view the visions of eternity; and if we would like to go the full measure, he is entitled to see God the same way that any prophet in literal and actual reality has seen the face of Deity.

"We talk about latter-day prophet; we think in terms of prophets who tell the future destiny of the Church and the world. But, in addition to that, the fact is that every person should be a prophet for himself and in his own concerns and in his own affairs. It was Moses who said, 'Would God that all the Lord's people were prophets, and that the Lord would put his spirit upon them' (Num 11:29).

"It was Paul who said, 'Covet to prophets" (1 For 14:39).

"They counsel that, with all our heart and with all our strength, as individuals, for our private and personal concerns, we should seek the gift of prophecy" (How to Get Personal Revelation). (And just to clarify what the gift of prophecy is, Elder Hales said this: "Of the sacred gifts of the Spirit, one that I believe has impact on each of our lives is the gift of prophecy or revelation. This gift is different from the priesthood office of prophet. The gift of prophecy is the testimony of Jesus" Gifts of the Spirit)

There was so much there and I apologize that we can't go into everything that is glimmering in that quote.  What we need to understand is that we can be entitled to seek God's face. The journey back to our Heavenly Father's and our Savior's presence are open to every willing heart. I love that he points out that we can do it in the same way that the prophets of old have and would add that the accounts we have of such sacred experiences all happened in this life.  My point is this: did you catch how we do this? It's through personal revelation. Now stay with me because we are almost ready to tie this all together.

If we look at 2 Nephi 32 we can understand how personal revelation unlocks this process AND what it has to do with the doctrine of Christ. My commentary is bolded.

1 And now, behold, my beloved brethren, I suppose that ye ponder somewhat in your hearts concerning that which ye should do after ye have entered in by the way. But, behold, why do ye ponder these things in your hearts? (So we get on the straight and narrow path...we "[enter] in by the way" through baptism...but now what?)

2 Do ye not remember that I said unto you that after ye had received the Holy Ghost ye could speak with the tongue of angels? And now, how could ye speak with the tongue of angels save it were by the Holy Ghost?

3 Angels speak by the power of the Holy Ghost; wherefore, they speak the words of Christ. Wherefore, I said unto you, feast upon the words of Christ; for behold, the words of Christ will tell you all things what ye should do.  (That sounds pretty good, right? But how can we find the words of Christ?)

4 Wherefore, now after I have spoken these words, if ye cannot understand them it will be because ye ask not, neither do ye knock; wherefore, ye are not brought into the light, but must perish in the dark. (It is so simple that we can easily overcomplicate and overlook it!!!)

5 For behold, again I say unto you that if ye will enter in by the way, and receive the Holy Ghost, it will show unto you all things what ye should do. (entered in by the way AKA baptism = check, received the Holy Ghost..."The simplicity of this ordinance may cause us to overlook its significance. These four words—“Receive the Holy Ghost”—are not a passive pronouncement; rather, they constitute a priesthood injunction—an authoritative admonition to act and not simply to be acted upon (see 2 Nephi 2:26). The Holy Ghost does not become operative in our lives merely because hands are placed upon our heads and those four important words are spoken. As we receive this ordinance, each of us accepts a sacred and ongoing responsibility to desire, to seek, to work, and to so live that we indeed “receive the Holy Ghost” and its attendant spiritual gifts"---Elder Bednar. = check, so now the Holy Ghost will tell me everything that I need to do. He will also tell me everything I personally need to do to become like my Heavenly Father and to return to His presence. Although the patterns will be the same for each of us and we may even have some striking similarities with fellow travelers, the details will be unique. No two individuals will have the same instructions because no two individuals are exactly the same). NOW HOLD ON FOR THIS NEXT VERSE!!!

6 Behold, ***this is the doctrine of Christ,*** and there will be no more doctrine given until after he shall manifest himself unto you in the flesh. And when he shall manifest himself unto you in the flesh, the things which he shall say unto you shall ye observe to do (Emphasis added, now I want to be very careful because of the sacred words in this chapter, yet at the same time, want to spell it out as clearly as can possibly be written. I used to believe that this verse was meaning when Christ came to visit the Nephites after His death, but what if it means something different and something much more personal?).

7 And now I, Nephi, cannot say more; the Spirit stoppeth mine utterance, and I am left to mourn because of the unbelief, and the wickedness, and the ignorance, and the stiffneckedness of men; for they will not search knowledge, nor understand great knowledge, when it is given unto them in plainness, even as plain as word can be.

8 And now, my beloved brethren, I perceive that ye ponder still in your hearts; and it grieveth me that I must speak concerning this thing. For if ye would hearken unto the Spirit which teacheth a man to pray, ye would know that ye must pray; for the evil spirit teacheth not a man to pray, but teacheth him that he must not pray.

9 But behold, I say unto you that ye must pray always, and not faint; that ye must not perform any thing unto the Lord save in the first place ye shall pray unto the Father in the name of Christ, that he will consecrate thy performance unto thee, that thy performance may be for the welfare of thy soul.

I believe there are many aspects and dimensions to how women with a bedrock understanding of the doctrine of Christ can use that to teach the rising generation is such a way that they are resistant to sin, but what if it also includes the following? What if in addition to teaching the mission, ministry, and life of Christ to the children within our circle of influence as well as repentance, we also taught them in powerfully tailored ways? What if rather than teaching children generally, we can be an essential tool in their ability to make connections personally?

What if rather than stressing over how things look on the surface level, focusing on merely curbing actions/behaviors (and especially in shaming ways that lead to secrecy and isolation), or going for "compliance" or rigid soldier-like box checking, we help our children to dig deeper? Can we understand and remember that God has a plan for this child who was His child first? We don't have to get caught up in or distracted by what we see at first glance. Heavenly Father has a plan and will lead each one of His children along through their own personal revelation. He will call to us over and over again as we find our way and that is the same pattern regardless of our age.

What if we actually let our children take their own journeys and rather than it being about us and our own fears or discomforts or whatever else it may stir up in us, it can actually be about them---what they need to learn and experience and how they can gain knowledge and wisdom for the days ahead? What if our understanding of the doctrine of Christ---that our children are entitled to all of the answers that they need personally to return to God's presence---could help us parent children in ways that actually connect the experiences they have with what they need to learn from them?  Even those experiences that are less than ideal.

We are always teaching our children something. Sometimes the lesson is in controlling our tempers, but equally powerful are the lessons about being able to apologize and repair relationships. Sometimes they are painful and even unconscious lessons such as certain parts of our child are somehow unloveable or that how they feel, think, or what they need aren't important.

It requires a BEDROCK understanding of the doctrine of Christ because I believe that we must first go there ourselves before we can do this with our children. Our understanding has grown so deep that it is unshakable. It's impossible to allow our children to have their own experiences when we have our own unresolved pasts. Again, we probably aren't trying to be "rotten parents;" it is simply that as we have our own patterns or things that take up our energy and minds and hearts, there isn't room to truly see others around us. That includes our children. Our child's upset or negative experiences becomes about us. We immediately react, seek to protect, or control the situation or those involved and our children learn to rely on us in roles that weren't Divinely intended. Rather than focusing on the true lessons to be learned, the lesson absorbed from such experiences is now on the parenting itself. But if we have experienced the doctrine of Christ in our own lives---if we have allowed the Spirit to lead us into the details of this very personal journey---everything will be pointed out to us as we go along. God makes us better parents. Yes, He fills us with strength...and love...and lots and lots of patience...but He also leads us line upon line as to how to take care of the garbage in our lives so that we can parent more closely like how He parents His children. And as we allow Him to do this by the guidance of the Holy Ghost one step at a time, we not only can see more clearly from moment to moment in our interactions and observations of others, but it also helps us to chill out when it comes to our children. That doesn't mean that we don't teach. That doesn't mean that we stop inviting. It doesn't meant that we don't care. It simply means that because we have become a living witness to the reality of this process, we can step out of the ways that have been hindering our child and come into our proper and intended role in helping to raise children. We are merely facilitators, cheerleaders, sounding boards, and encouragers. Each child must use their own agency, and as they do, it starts the wheels turning and sets things in motion in their lives. We cannot choose for our child, but we can be there to help them make sense of their journey back to Heavenly Father's presence as it continues to unfold. We can help them connect what they experience---both positive and negative---with what they have learned---both positive and negative, but ultimately all necessary to their personal journey back Home. What if we used our personal experience with the doctrine of Christ to teach our children and help them find the same patterns in their own lives?

What does it even mean to be sin-resistant anyway? I can't speak for President Nelson here either, but I have come to believe that it means something different than what we might expect. I don't believe that it means we can help raise a generation that is perfect. I think of the purpose of vaccines---to make the body resistant to a microscopic invasion. It doesn't mean that a person will never have a virus or bacteria enter their body again. It simply means that when it does, the body already knows what to do with it. None of us will be perfect in this life...not even what we hope will be this rising generation. We also are unable to fully avoid the stains and soils that are simply part of mortality; however, the difference is the "immunity" that we can help create with our children. Listen to what the Bible Dictionary says about repentance: "The Greek word of which this is the translation denotes a change of mind, a fresh view about God, about oneself, and about the world. Since we are born into conditions of mortality, repentance comes to mean a turning of the heart and will to God, and a renunciation of sin to which we are naturally inclined." Learning to do this is a process for each one of us. As we know God's awareness of whatever parenting moment is before us...that He is and has provided everything this child needs...and that sometimes what we see before our eyes is actually deceptive as far as a root level...we can help our child make the essential connections again and again. When hard things happen and our child needs "a change of mind and a fresh view---" not just in general, but as life unfolds in each specific situation---we can be there for them. They can learn to quickly seek a "change of mind" and "fresh view" when they encounter the things that would otherwise bring darkness or discouragement. As we use the doctrine of Christ to teach our child about themselves and their own personal situations and circumstances, they can become resistant to sin or the things that would lead to sin. We can help them understand that it's a process---and a very personal one. The Holy Ghost helps each one of us find Christ personally. There isn't anything our children could experience in this life that falls outside of what God has not only anticipated, but also prepared for...personally. There isn't any circumstance that they could be in that the Holy Ghost can no longer illuminate their next right step...not just what "a person" "should" do, but what he or she needs to do next. As they experience the spiritual and emotional bumps and bruises of this life, we can be there to support them to understand this for themselves rather than distracting them away from it.

May God bless us with the courage and insight to do it!


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