Remember what Elder Melvin J. Ballard said about Satan seeking to capture our soul through our body? Elder Bednar said the following, “Because the physical body is so central to the Father’s plan of happiness and our spiritual development, we should not be surprised that Lucifer seeks to thwart our progression by enticing us to use our bodies improperly. It is to me one of the ultimate ironies of eternity that the adversary, who is miserable because he has no physical body and therefore cannot progress, seeks to make us miserable ‘like unto himself’ (2 Ne. 2:27) through the improper use of our bodies. The very tool he does not have and cannot use thus is the primary instrument through which he attempts to lure us to spiritual destruction.”
Let’s consider three ways that Satan attempts to do that. Remember our goal is to understand the Fall personally, so really think about how these may fit into your own tendencies. Maybe you will see yourself in all three. Maybe you will only recognize part in yourself. Maybe reading these will bring other thoughts to your mind, but understand that these are pitfalls Satan is using to purposely destroy us.
First, we may be tempted to hate our bodies. My husband’s disclosure about the pornography and sex addiction relapse hit me really hard in this regard. It was “obvious” why he would turn to those things because physically I wasn’t able to compete. My body had changed from the pregnancies, births, and breastfeeding of 3 babies in 3 years! And before I had a “mom body,” I felt I didn’t even have that attractive of a body in the first place. If I somehow had a magic wand to change everything about my body, I still ran into the problem of maintaining that body. I was walking around with spit up and peanut butter smeared on me at any given moment, because in real life I was raising 3 young children. How was I supposed to compete with any of that? Maybe you haven't been through the sexual betrayal of a spouse, but you have similar or other trauma-based confusion in regards to your body. It required deeper digging for me to work through this. I cannot yet address the roots of it or go into the details of the patterns in this chapter, so take note if this stirs up anything in yourself. When we have more knowledge and tools you can come back to explore it further.
It can be difficult in this time and age with images and outside voices constantly blaring in our ears what we “should” look like, especially when those voices hit so close to home like they did for me with the sex addiction. Elder Holland spoke boldly to the Young Women when he said, “I plead with you young women to please be more accepting of yourselves, including your body shape and style, with a little less longing to look like someone else. We are all different. Some are tall, and some are short. Some are round, and some are thin. And almost everyone at some time or other wants to be something they are not! But as one adviser to teenage girls said: ‘You can’t live your life worrying that the world is staring at you. When you let people’s opinions make you self-conscious you give away your power. … The key to feeling [confident] is to always listen to your inner self—[the real you.]’ And in the kingdom of God, the real you is ‘more precious than rubies.’ Every young woman is a child of destiny and every adult woman a powerful force for good. I mention adult women because, sisters, you are our greatest examples and resource for these young women. And if you are obsessing over being a size 2, you won’t be very surprised when your daughter or the Mia Maid in your class does the same and makes herself physically ill trying to accomplish it. We should all be as fit as we can be—that’s good Word of Wisdom doctrine. That means eating right and exercising and helping our bodies function at their optimum strength. We could probably all do better in that regard. But I speak here of optimum health; there is no universal optimum size.
“Frankly, the world has been brutal with you in this regard. You are bombarded in movies, television, fashion magazines, and advertisements with the message that looks are everything! The pitch is, ‘If your looks are good enough, your life will be glamorous and you will be happy and popular.’ That kind of pressure is immense in the teenage years, to say nothing of later womanhood. In too many cases too much is being done to the human body to meet just such a fictional (to say nothing of superficial) standard. As one Hollywood actress is reported to have said recently: ‘We’ve become obsessed with beauty and the fountain of youth. … I’m really saddened by the way women mutilate [themselves] in search of that. I see women [including young women] … pulling this up and tucking that back. It’s like a slippery slope. [You can’t get off of it.] … It’s really insane … what society is doing to women.’”
Elder Holland then explains why this can be such a pitfall our happiness. “In terms of preoccupation with self and a fixation on the physical, this is more than social insanity; it is spiritually destructive, and it accounts for much of the unhappiness women, including young women, face in the modern world. And if adults are preoccupied with appearance—tucking and nipping and implanting and remodeling everything that can be remodeled—those pressures and anxieties will certainly seep through to children. At some point the problem becomes what the Book of Mormon called ‘vain imaginations.’ And in secular society both vanity and imagination run wild. One would truly need a great and spacious makeup kit to compete with beauty as portrayed in media all around us. Yet at the end of the day there would still be those ‘in the attitude of mocking and pointing their fingers’ as Lehi saw, because however much one tries in the world of glamour and fashion, it will never be glamorous enough” (emphasis added).
Can you see why this is such a desired snare of the Adversary for us to fall into? We do not need to compete as the wife of a pornography or sex addict, nor do we need to answer the call from the countless alluring and seductive voices. These messages aren’t actually really about connecting with beautiful women no matter how promising the commercials, advertisements, or even our own husband’s may try to convince us they are. Lusting isn’t the same thing as connecting. And as much as Satan may encourage us to put up a good fight by competing with what a husband addicted to pornography or sex addiction is viewing, experiencing, or seeking after, whether in fantasy or real-life, it will destroy us spiritually and make us unhappy. Be aware of this potential pitfall not only with the specific implications of hating our bodies because of being bombarded with the ties to unhealthy sexuality, but also any reason you personally may be hating your body.
Now think about another aspect as to why Satan would seek for us to be snagged in this pitfall. Consider this in terms of what else is being lost. As we are so busy worrying about how we look, we not only miss opportunities to grow ourselves, but also to serve or bless those around us.
Susan W. Tanner shared an experience from her youth, “I remember well the insecurities I felt as a teenager with a bad case of acne. I tried to care for my skin properly. My parents helped me get medical attention. For years I even went without eating chocolate and all the greasy fast foods around which teens often socialize, but with no obvious healing consequences. It was difficult for me at that time to fully appreciate this body which was giving me so much grief. But my good mother taught me a higher law. Over and over she said to me, ‘You must do everything you can to make your appearance pleasing, but the minute you walk out the door, forget yourself and start concentrating on others.’
“There it was. She was teaching me the Christlike principle of selflessness. Charity, or the pure love of Christ, ‘envieth not, and is not puffed up, seeketh not her own’ (Moro. 7:45). “When we become other-oriented, or selfless, we develop an inner beauty of spirit that glows in our outward appearance. This is how we make ourselves in the Lord’s image rather than the world’s and receive His image in our countenances.”
I love that! We can do all we can to care for our bodies and look nice, but once we head out the door, we can miss opportunities if we obsess about our bodies. Again, I’m not asking you to instantly switch off how you feel about this. If you are like I was, it will just keep coming back. So jot it down in your notebook, knowing you can come back when you are ready to take a deeper look at it.
Observe yourself here and simply take note. I had developed many deeply rooted insecurities that seemed true because of my husband’s choices. Whether you are like me and these body image issues came from pornography or sex addictions or from any other experience at any time in your life, they must be addressed or they can be used to Satan’s advantage. I know firsthand that all insecurities with our bodies can be healed by the Master Physician. If you would like more details, a wonderful resource is the book Body Image Breakthrough, by Jaci Wightman. She masterfully walks the reader through lasting solutions to this pitfall. She also offers a free online course based on her book.
And just in case you see yourself in this, it’s worth pointing out that a person may actually have the opposite problem. We may really, really like the way we look. At the heart of it though, it is actually the same enticement. Just like when we struggle with loving our bodies, our worshiping them creates a similar fixation with them. We can go to exorbitant lengths and expenses to maintain our body image. We are obsessed, but in the opposite way. We are more than toned abs, a pretty face, or a cute outfit. We are God’s daughter and our bodies are only part of our identity.
President Hinckley said this, “Of all the creations of the Almighty, there is none more beautiful, none more inspiring than a lovely daughter of God who walks in virtue with an understanding of why she should do so, who honors and respects her body as a thing sacred and divine, who cultivates her mind and constantly enlarges the horizon of her understanding, who nurtures her spirit with everlasting truth” (“Understanding Our Divine Nature,” Liahona, Feb. 2002, 24; “Our Responsibility to Our Young Women,” Ensign, Sept. 1988, 11).
Second is the pitfall of using our bodies contrary to the commandments. “God created man in his own image” (Gensis 1:27). We know God’s work and glory is for his children to have life with Him and to become like Him (Moses 1:39). He also created us to have joy (2 Nephi 2:25). Our bodies were created by perfect design. Like everything God does, He didn’t make mistakes. I wish I could pour my wonder for the human body into your mind and heart! I will never forget sitting in my Anatomy & Physiology classes in complete awe. Do you know how intricate and complex the process of something as seemingly simple as bending your finger is? And to think that many of these bodily functions happen without our awareness to them and certainly without our detection of multiple steps and the details! Our bodies are incredible (and incredibly designed)! God carefully planned every process, every physiological response, and every organ system purposefully. He did so on a cellular level from the tips of our toes to the top of our head. Everything was designed for a reason!
It is no mistake that our bodies do what they do. This includes our appetites and passions as well. It also includes those things that can drive us, such as sexuality. It is through these marvelous bodies that we can feel, experience, and touch. The body likes what feels good---cravings, impulses, instant gratification. There is no shame in understanding that! It is normal to like good food, want to hit the snooze button for more sleep, or to be attracted sexually. We must understand this!
It isn’t God’s plan that we hide in shame about the innate things our bodies do or desire. Adam & Eve made themselves aprons and attempted to hide after they partook of the fruit (see Moses 4:13-16). How can we expect to be able to minister to others if we are hiding behind a bush of shame? Can you picture how awkward that would be? Yet, I believe we do it every day when we jump into what we think is ministering without first addressing those things that would cause us to draw back from God and others. Our awareness of ourselves is the birthplace to both our own makeshift and homemade solutions to deal with our newfound shortcomings alone (this usually means or includes hiding in shame) as well as God’s way of addressing it. Just like with Adam & Eve, God has a better plan than our misguided attempts to keep our personal tendencies hidden. We will begin exploring that plan together shortly.
I am not suggesting that it is a free-for-all where anything goes or that we cannot control what our bodies do. That is not true. We will be visiting that thought later in more detail. God has, however, given us commandments, or instructions on how to use our bodies that will bring the most joy. Can you see the importance of understanding both sides? God created us purposefully and has given us commandments for the proper uses of our bodies.
Elder Bednar said, “I have heard many people, both outside and inside the Church, declare, ‘It’s my body and I can do to it what I want.’ The correct doctrinal response to such a statement is quite simple. No, your body is not your own; it is on loan from God.”
It’s important that we are alert to keeping the commandments in relation our bodies. For example, 77% of individuals who had been sexually betrayed by a partner or spouse report turning to “distracting behaviors to avoid thinking about what their partner has done” at least half of the time (Kevin Skinner, Treating Trauma from Sexual Betrayal, 31).
If we aren’t aware of ourselves, we can use things like oversleeping, turning to food to soothe, or other uses of our physical bodies to cope with the trauma. If you had something that pops into your head as you read that or something that may be questionable, then jot it down in your notebook.
I’m not asking you to only eat broccoli or never sleep in again. All I am asking is for you to honestly observe yourself in regards to your body. As you do, maybe you can begin to consider on why you would be doing some of those things. If you are using it as an escape from the pain or to cope with an unaddressed past then you are in good company! We are going to take a completely different approach than what you may be expecting to address the roots of all this. We will work from the inside out so you don’t have to just cope any more. We will lead into releasing and resolving it so you no longer have to keep it stuffed inside and then have the need to cope with it. For now, I simply want you to become honestly aware of yourself and your personal tendencies. Just make observations about yourself for now.
Third is the pitfall of ignoring our bodies. What is yours telling you right now? Are you tired or hungry? Do you pay attention to what your body is telling you or are you too zoned out, too busy, or are you so sure tomorrow will come that you can put it off until then?
As an apostle, President Benson gave a wonderful BYU devotional discussing the care of our bodies. He said, “There are at least four basic areas which make the difference in your health—in your growing in stature.
“First: righteousness. Sin debilitates; it affects not only the soul but the body. The scriptures are replete with examples of the physical power that can attend the righteous. On the other hand, unrepented sin can diffuse energy and lead to both mental and physical sickness. Disease, fevers, and unexpected deaths are some of the things that have been directly related to disobedience. Jesus healed a man of a physical malady and then told him in John, chapter 5, verse 14, to ‘sin no more, lest a worse thing come unto thee.’ Galahad said that his strength was as the strength of ten because his heart was pure.
“Second: food. To a great extent we are physically what we eat. Most of us are acquainted with some of the prohibitions, such as no tea, coffee, tobacco, or alcohol. What needs additional emphasis are the positive aspects—the need for vegetables, fruits, and grains, particularly wheat. In most cases, the closer these can be, when eaten, to their natural state— without overrefinement and processing—the healthier we will be. To a significant degree, we are an overfed and undernourished nation digging an early grave with our teeth, and lacking the energy that could be ours because we overindulge in junk foods...We need a generation of young people who, as Daniel, eat in a more healthy manner than to fare on the ‘king’s meat’—and whose countenances show it (see Daniel 1).
“Third: exercise. The body needs the toning up that comes from exercise. Walking in the fresh air can be exhilarating and refreshing. Properly directed running can have some beneficial effects. Simple situps or sporting activity can be helpful.
“Fourth: sleep. Adequate early rest is best. In the Doctrine and Covenants, section 88, verse 124, the Lord commands: ‘Cease to sleep longer than is needful; retire to thy bed early, that ye may not be weary; arise early, that your bodies and your minds may be invigorated.’ There are too many enticements to late evening activities. Not only can this weary the body, but a wearied body may be more susceptible to improper activities in the darkness and lateness of the night. Early to bed and early to rise is still good counsel, and a brief nap during the day can be recuperative.”
Let’s pause here for a moment so we can discuss what to do with all of this information.
Next Section HERE
Previous Section HERE
Comments
Post a Comment