In his book, Spiritually Anchored in Unsettled Times, Bruce C. Hafen points out that the triangle is the most stable shape in engineering (page 51). He likens a strong testimony to a triangle with feelings, logic, and experience at each side. Sometimes we only rely on feelings or logic or experience alone. By adding all 3 of these, our testimony can be stronger. The two sides are each strengthened and reinforced by the third. Although he was speaking specifically of a testimony, this same triangle applies here.
We must “search diligently in the light of Christ” to understand a personal T.C.O.Y. plan (Moroni 7:19). We must study it out. We can use reason in this search as we do the best we can to find solutions. What makes sense? Where should we look? Here is a good guideline, “...that which is of God inviteth and enticeth to do good continually; wherefore, every thing which inviteth and enticeth to do good, and to love God, and to serve him, is inspired of God” (Moroni 7:13, emphasis added). Also, this verse, “And whatsoever thing persuadeth men to do good is of me; for good cometh of none save it be of me” (Ether 4:12, emphasis added). We can gain confidence from considering things we have never considered before, knowing that we can use logic to align ourselves with those things that are from God.
But if we only come from a standpoint of reason, we may not find what we are looking for or need. It won’t be enough to hold up against outside demands. We can pray to be lead in our search. We can pay attention to how it feels as we search. I cannot find a citation to reference this, but somehow I came across this thought. When we pray “with real intent” (Moroni 10:4), it means we are willing to take action on what the answer is. Sometimes we don’t get an obvious feeling because if we are honest with ourselves, we aren’t willing to act on the answer.
Sometimes if the answer was yes, we wouldn’t be willing to change or give up what would be required of us. In this process of carving out a self-care plan, we must pray with real intent. We must be willing to do whatever we are asked to do, even if that means trying something we previously have dismissed, overlooked, or initially may feel uncomfortable with. D&C 9 follows this same pattern of logic, then feelings. “But, behold, I say unto you, that you must study it out in your mind; then you must ask me if it be right, and if it is right I will cause that your bosom shall burn within you; therefore, you shall feel that it is right” (verse 8, emphasis added). For those who feel discouraged because they expect this burning to be a literal and physical burning in your chest (for some it is that way), consider this from Elder Jay E. Jensen, “...the burning of the bosom is not related to caloric heat but rather to an intensity of feeling—the peace to the mind and feelings to the heart mentioned earlier” (emphasis added). This burning comes with unmistakable intensity. That can also include intensity of thoughts as God or Christ speak to us in our mind.
After we take the time to study it out and pay attention to how it feels (or the inspired thoughts), that isn’t all either. Our strong triangle is completed as we add our observations from our experience. The Savior taught the Nephites, “Ye shall know them by their fruits. Do men gather grapes of thorns, or figs of thistles? Even so every good tree bringeth forth good fruit; but a corrupt tree bringeth forth evil fruit. A good tree cannot bring forth evil fruit, neither a corrupt tree bring forth good fruit. Every tree that bringeth not forth good fruit is hewn down, and cast into the fire. Wherefore, by their fruits ye shall know them” (3 Nephi 14:16-20).
Remember the standard we are using? (goodness comes from God). As we experiment and experience, what are the fruits? And like the Savior said, any tree that doesn’t bring good fruit, we can cut that down, toss in the fire, and try something else. What I am trying to say is, don’t let fear paralyze you! I have personally be lead to many opportunities and tools that would have remained outside of my pursuit had I not followed this triangle of reason, feeling, and experiences. Do your best to follow logic, feelings, and experience, so that you can “lay hold upon every good thing” (Moroni 7:19). This triangle applies as we continue to talk about the other aspects of self-care as well.
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