My second and third suggestion are so tightly interwoven, it was difficult to
separate them from each other. How do we know what to do? How do we
know what to say? How do we know who to reach out to and when to take
action? Let me offer these words by Bonnie L. Oscarson for your consideration,
“What good does it do to save the world if we neglect the needs of those closest to
us and those whom we love the most? How much value is there in fixing the world
if the people around us are falling apart and we don’t notice? Heavenly Father may
have placed those who need us closest to us, knowing that we are best suited to
meet their needs” (Source).
I think her words can give us a good starting point, knowing that those receiving
the most of our influence should be those closest to us such as family, those
immediately around us, and those who we are emotionally or geographically close
to. When she said these words during Conference, The Spirit whispered to me that
it means my husband and kids get the most of me, then extended family and friends,
then those who I am serving in other ways with my business and calling, then my
efforts with social media or to reach out to complete strangers. It isn’t always like that
or rigidly like that, but I found it to be a good guide for me personally to sum up my
daily living.
the most of our influence should be those closest to us such as family, those
immediately around us, and those who we are emotionally or geographically close
to. When she said these words during Conference, The Spirit whispered to me that
it means my husband and kids get the most of me, then extended family and friends,
then those who I am serving in other ways with my business and calling, then my
efforts with social media or to reach out to complete strangers. It isn’t always like that
or rigidly like that, but I found it to be a good guide for me personally to sum up my
daily living.
As we take time each day to invite The Spirit and we tell God in our prayers that
because of our love for Him, we will be on His errand for that day, we can know
what to do and say. If we ask for opportunities to be lead to those who are ready to
receive, He will direct us to cross paths with others in miraculous ways. Sometimes
"knowing what needs to be done" may come simply as someone coming to our minds.
Maybe God needs us to text, call, visit, or contact that person in any way. Sometimes
it may come with specific instructions of what needs to be done or said. I have been
on both ends of this process. Our willingness to act on what we perceive to be a
prompting will always be a blessing.
because of our love for Him, we will be on His errand for that day, we can know
what to do and say. If we ask for opportunities to be lead to those who are ready to
receive, He will direct us to cross paths with others in miraculous ways. Sometimes
"knowing what needs to be done" may come simply as someone coming to our minds.
Maybe God needs us to text, call, visit, or contact that person in any way. Sometimes
it may come with specific instructions of what needs to be done or said. I have been
on both ends of this process. Our willingness to act on what we perceive to be a
prompting will always be a blessing.
I had a recent tender experience from the giving end that was so profound. I share
this with permission. I walked into Relief Society a few months ago and noticed
a mom rocking a screaming toddler in the doorway. I hadn’t ever seen her before,
and so I stopped to talk to her. Sure enough, it was her first Sunday in our ward.
We chatted at the surface level and after I welcomed her to the ward, I left to sit
by a sister I knew where we struck up a conversation.
Suddenly in the middle of our gabbing, I heard distinctly, “Katy, go back and get
that baby.” I started to dismiss it, telling myself that it would be creepy and she
might think I was trying to steal her baby, but the thought persisted. Before I
could argue with myself again, I jumped up, and walked back to the doorway.
“Hey,” I said. “I know I just met you, but would it be okay if I took your baby
this with permission. I walked into Relief Society a few months ago and noticed
a mom rocking a screaming toddler in the doorway. I hadn’t ever seen her before,
and so I stopped to talk to her. Sure enough, it was her first Sunday in our ward.
We chatted at the surface level and after I welcomed her to the ward, I left to sit
by a sister I knew where we struck up a conversation.
Suddenly in the middle of our gabbing, I heard distinctly, “Katy, go back and get
that baby.” I started to dismiss it, telling myself that it would be creepy and she
might think I was trying to steal her baby, but the thought persisted. Before I
could argue with myself again, I jumped up, and walked back to the doorway.
“Hey,” I said. “I know I just met you, but would it be okay if I took your baby
out into the hallway? That way you can enjoy the meeting and I will stay right where
you can see me.” I was surprised as she willing and immediately shoved him into
my arms and turned to find a seat. I set him down and he instantly stopped crying. We
had a grand hour together in the hallway playing and laughing together. Later, I found
out that this same woman was actually recently divorced. She is the single-mom to not
only her (then) 16-month-old, but also a 3-year-old. In addition to working full time and
trying to figure out life as a single parent, she is also seeking to be re-baptized.
you can see me.” I was surprised as she willing and immediately shoved him into
my arms and turned to find a seat. I set him down and he instantly stopped crying. We
had a grand hour together in the hallway playing and laughing together. Later, I found
out that this same woman was actually recently divorced. She is the single-mom to not
only her (then) 16-month-old, but also a 3-year-old. In addition to working full time and
trying to figure out life as a single parent, she is also seeking to be re-baptized.
Later, she asked me how I knew. I told her what had happened and that all I can say is
that God loves her and knows her. I had no idea who she was or what was going on in
her life, let alone the thoughts and battle going on in her head at that very moment
that I reached out to her. She shared that a few seconds before I came back, she had
decided that it was pointless to stay. She had already wrestled with both kids through
Sacrament meeting and her fussy toddler through the Sunday School block. She was
nearly convinced to not only throw in the towel for Relief Society, but also her seemingly
bright idea to come back into full fellowship was quickly fading. I was completely
stunned by this. This experience also blessed, taught, and reminded me how eager
God is to help us in our efforts to support others in their journeys in drawing closer to
Jesus Christ.
that God loves her and knows her. I had no idea who she was or what was going on in
her life, let alone the thoughts and battle going on in her head at that very moment
that I reached out to her. She shared that a few seconds before I came back, she had
decided that it was pointless to stay. She had already wrestled with both kids through
Sacrament meeting and her fussy toddler through the Sunday School block. She was
nearly convinced to not only throw in the towel for Relief Society, but also her seemingly
bright idea to come back into full fellowship was quickly fading. I was completely
stunned by this. This experience also blessed, taught, and reminded me how eager
God is to help us in our efforts to support others in their journeys in drawing closer to
Jesus Christ.
We need not fear that we will "do it wrong." Can you see that such thoughts are from
Satan? If only we could step back and see that we don't have to be perfect at this.
We don't have to come up with who, what, or how to reach on our own. God needs
people who are willing. That is all. He will take care of the rest. If there are
special circumstances needed or specific strengths, He will provide it.
Satan? If only we could step back and see that we don't have to be perfect at this.
We don't have to come up with who, what, or how to reach on our own. God needs
people who are willing. That is all. He will take care of the rest. If there are
special circumstances needed or specific strengths, He will provide it.
That brings another recent experience to my mind as well with this same now dear friend.
Again, I share with her permission. We had our annual
Stake party at the swimming pool a few weeks ago. My family said our goodbyes and
headed home to get our kids tucked in bed. I received a phone call that this same friend
who had shared a beach chair with our bags was missing her car keys. We looked
through our things and I asked our other friend who had been with u s to do the same. No
keys. By now it was after 10 pm. It was dark and getting cold fast. She had wet, tired, and
freezing young children. I texted her that I was coming right then and would at least get
her home for the night and we would figure out what to do about her car tomorrow. I
literally jumped into my car without my shoes (let alone my purse).
Again, I share with her permission. We had our annual
Stake party at the swimming pool a few weeks ago. My family said our goodbyes and
headed home to get our kids tucked in bed. I received a phone call that this same friend
who had shared a beach chair with our bags was missing her car keys. We looked
through our things and I asked our other friend who had been with u s to do the same. No
keys. By now it was after 10 pm. It was dark and getting cold fast. She had wet, tired, and
freezing young children. I texted her that I was coming right then and would at least get
her home for the night and we would figure out what to do about her car tomorrow. I
literally jumped into my car without my shoes (let alone my purse).
As I was quickly zooming down the road to get back to the pool, I suddenly noticed
flashing lights in my review mirror. They were for me. As I pulled over, rolled my window
down, and tried to fumble with the jockey box with my shaky hands to dig for the
information, the officer approached. He asked if I knew why I was pulled over.
"I was probably speeding." I was...and then some.:) He had clocked me as I flew past.
All but in tears I explained why I was in such a hurry, showed him my bare feet, and
explained that I didn't even have my license because of how quickly and unexpectedly
I had hopped in the car. I'm not sure if he was skeptical and trying to catch me in a lie,
but he offered to follow me over to the pool because he had a flood light to help us
search for her keys. (And he even generously let me off with a stern warning). :)
flashing lights in my review mirror. They were for me. As I pulled over, rolled my window
down, and tried to fumble with the jockey box with my shaky hands to dig for the
information, the officer approached. He asked if I knew why I was pulled over.
"I was probably speeding." I was...and then some.:) He had clocked me as I flew past.
All but in tears I explained why I was in such a hurry, showed him my bare feet, and
explained that I didn't even have my license because of how quickly and unexpectedly
I had hopped in the car. I'm not sure if he was skeptical and trying to catch me in a lie,
but he offered to follow me over to the pool because he had a flood light to help us
search for her keys. (And he even generously let me off with a stern warning). :)
As we got to the pool, I helped warm the kids in my pre-heated car and kept them
entertained. My friend decided to retrace her steps with the officer and his powerful
spot light. She had been all over...not only the pool, but also the pavilion and the
playground as well as the parking lot. You may guess what happened that night. With
the assistance of the flood light, she found her keys! I am convinced that our cell phones
were not powerful enough to do the job. Not only did I get to witness that miracle, but
she also knew the police officer personally. It brought her comfort in that moment and
also gave her the chance to catch up with someone who is important to her.
entertained. My friend decided to retrace her steps with the officer and his powerful
spot light. She had been all over...not only the pool, but also the pavilion and the
playground as well as the parking lot. You may guess what happened that night. With
the assistance of the flood light, she found her keys! I am convinced that our cell phones
were not powerful enough to do the job. Not only did I get to witness that miracle, but
she also knew the police officer personally. It brought her comfort in that moment and
also gave her the chance to catch up with someone who is important to her.
As I got home and finished helping Mark tuck our kids in, I shared all the excitement.
He asked, "Are you trying to tell me that you were supposed to speed so you could get
pulled over?" I honestly have no idea, but what I do know is that my friend had everything
she needed that night. :) If we are willing and special circumstances are needed, God
will find a way to get us whatever is needed.
He asked, "Are you trying to tell me that you were supposed to speed so you could get
pulled over?" I honestly have no idea, but what I do know is that my friend had everything
she needed that night. :) If we are willing and special circumstances are needed, God
will find a way to get us whatever is needed.
If we stand tall and take confidence in Him rather than our own puny arm, it can help
remove that fear because look what Truth hopefully plopped right into your Belief Box.
I promise if we take action both in starting our day seeking for opportunities, then do
our best to act upon the personal revelation we receive as thoughts, feelings, impressions,
or observations are brought to our attention, God will do all the rest. He will put us in
the right place at the right time with all we need to have or say in order to love His
children in the ways that will help them find Christ.
remove that fear because look what Truth hopefully plopped right into your Belief Box.
I promise if we take action both in starting our day seeking for opportunities, then do
our best to act upon the personal revelation we receive as thoughts, feelings, impressions,
or observations are brought to our attention, God will do all the rest. He will put us in
the right place at the right time with all we need to have or say in order to love His
children in the ways that will help them find Christ.
Elder Rasband spoke of being God’s first responders. “[The Holy Ghost] points us
to opportunities to teach the gospel, to bear testimony of the Restoration and Jesus
Christ, to offer support and concern, and to rescue one of God’s precious children.
to opportunities to teach the gospel, to bear testimony of the Restoration and Jesus
Christ, to offer support and concern, and to rescue one of God’s precious children.
“Think of it as being what is called a first responder. In most communities the first
responders to a tragedy, disaster, or calamity are firefighters, police officers,
paramedics. They arrive with lights flashing, and may I add, we are so incredibly
grateful for them. The Lord’s way is less obvious but requires just as immediate a
response. The Lord knows the needs of all His children—and He knows who is
prepared to help” (Source, emphasis added).
responders to a tragedy, disaster, or calamity are firefighters, police officers,
paramedics. They arrive with lights flashing, and may I add, we are so incredibly
grateful for them. The Lord’s way is less obvious but requires just as immediate a
response. The Lord knows the needs of all His children—and He knows who is
prepared to help” (Source, emphasis added).
Here are some seemingly "small" things that were a lifeline during our times of struggle:
Our third child’s pregnancy was physically and mentally taxing. We had weekly or
every other week appointments with our doctor or specialists. It was wearing after
4 months! One woman in our ward wrote down the date of our next appointment
and tracked how many weeks I was. I found out later she literally went home and
wrote it on her calendar. She would call me by the end of our Dr. appointment days
if she hadn't heard from me. She would ask the next date at the end of the conversation.
every other week appointments with our doctor or specialists. It was wearing after
4 months! One woman in our ward wrote down the date of our next appointment
and tracked how many weeks I was. I found out later she literally went home and
wrote it on her calendar. She would call me by the end of our Dr. appointment days
if she hadn't heard from me. She would ask the next date at the end of the conversation.
I can't exactly explain why, but it brought so much comfort to know that my struggles
were not just mine to bear alone in silence. Her thoughtful efforts helped me know
that there was at least someone else who really cared cared, especially on the difficult
Dr. appointment days! Although we were blessed with a beautiful miracle that resulted
in a healthy child, we had constant up’s and down’s during this pregnancy. The
appointments up until the last few months continued to bring more and more bad news.
were not just mine to bear alone in silence. Her thoughtful efforts helped me know
that there was at least someone else who really cared cared, especially on the difficult
Dr. appointment days! Although we were blessed with a beautiful miracle that resulted
in a healthy child, we had constant up’s and down’s during this pregnancy. The
appointments up until the last few months continued to bring more and more bad news.
8 years later, I can see God's love in this! I know she was seeking for inspiration on
how best to support our family. She was on God's errand to lighten my burden and to
help me feel God's love during this difficult and discouraging time. She wasn’t the only
one who did this either. Looking back, it’s amazing that God answered each individual
who sought for inspiration on my behalf as to what I needed to find Christ. Each one
received a different answer. As our needs were many and complex, it required multiple
individuals each doing what God needed them to do to not only meet our needs,
but again, point us to Christ through our trials.
how best to support our family. She was on God's errand to lighten my burden and to
help me feel God's love during this difficult and discouraging time. She wasn’t the only
one who did this either. Looking back, it’s amazing that God answered each individual
who sought for inspiration on my behalf as to what I needed to find Christ. Each one
received a different answer. As our needs were many and complex, it required multiple
individuals each doing what God needed them to do to not only meet our needs,
but again, point us to Christ through our trials.
This same dear woman did many other things like carve a heart into the mashed
potatoes of the shepherd's pie she brought for dinner one night. A few weeks ago
I "happened" to find a note she had written me of encouragement and love. I can't
count how many notes like that arrived in the mail box or were attached to other
things she lovingly assembled to offer when she would visit our home.
potatoes of the shepherd's pie she brought for dinner one night. A few weeks ago
I "happened" to find a note she had written me of encouragement and love. I can't
count how many notes like that arrived in the mail box or were attached to other
things she lovingly assembled to offer when she would visit our home.
She was one of the first visitors to come after I miscarried our twins. She didn't
even need to say anything as she sat at the foot of my bed that day. I can't
remember what we discussed, but I knew because of the front-row seat she had
chosen to take over the years, she knew how much I was hurting that day and the
reassurance I needed that God was over this pregnancy too. Through the years
of service to our family, she did so as imperceptibly as possible. So did the others
in our ward. They never took a shred of praise or gratitude. They always directed
us to thank God for the blessings. That made it so easy to see Him.
even need to say anything as she sat at the foot of my bed that day. I can't
remember what we discussed, but I knew because of the front-row seat she had
chosen to take over the years, she knew how much I was hurting that day and the
reassurance I needed that God was over this pregnancy too. Through the years
of service to our family, she did so as imperceptibly as possible. So did the others
in our ward. They never took a shred of praise or gratitude. They always directed
us to thank God for the blessings. That made it so easy to see Him.
Many times we don't have to "fix it." God can send us on His errand, like my dear
friend, to simply let us know we aren't alone and that we are loved. Our willingness
may be that we lend a listening ear or gently offer a, “Me too. That has happened to
me,” may be all that is needed for God to touch an individual at a critical time and
open the door through the light of Christ for deeper discovery of our Savior personally.
Even if the individual’s current circumstances can't be changed or quickly repaired,
reaching as The Spirit directs will be just what is needed---even if it isn't recognized
at the moment for what it is.
friend, to simply let us know we aren't alone and that we are loved. Our willingness
may be that we lend a listening ear or gently offer a, “Me too. That has happened to
me,” may be all that is needed for God to touch an individual at a critical time and
open the door through the light of Christ for deeper discovery of our Savior personally.
Even if the individual’s current circumstances can't be changed or quickly repaired,
reaching as The Spirit directs will be just what is needed---even if it isn't recognized
at the moment for what it is.
As we listen to The Spirit, we can be directed on how to respond when we are
privileged to the details of others struggles. Many times we may just need to
validate, again, responding with empathy and touching that part of us that knows
what hurt or anger or disappointment, etc. feels like. When I had repeat miscarriages,
I didn't need it "fixed." Comments like "You're young---you will have more,"
"Aren't you glad that God let that deformed child pass," "You'll raise your baby in
the millennium," etc., didn't do for me what, "I am sorry for your loss," did in terms
of "giving me permission" to feel hurt, frustrated, angry, or grieve. Sometimes that
is what The Spirit may direct us to do.
privileged to the details of others struggles. Many times we may just need to
validate, again, responding with empathy and touching that part of us that knows
what hurt or anger or disappointment, etc. feels like. When I had repeat miscarriages,
I didn't need it "fixed." Comments like "You're young---you will have more,"
"Aren't you glad that God let that deformed child pass," "You'll raise your baby in
the millennium," etc., didn't do for me what, "I am sorry for your loss," did in terms
of "giving me permission" to feel hurt, frustrated, angry, or grieve. Sometimes that
is what The Spirit may direct us to do.
Sometimes The Spirit will direct us to pray for those around us. I have felt such
prayers---the prayers of the righteous on my behalf (see Mormon 5:21). Those
who love me as God loves me, pleading according to their faith, that I would not
only have what I needed to weather through, but also to find Christ in my struggles.
When you have been prayed for like that, it can be difficult to put into words. It
is something you feel. As I look back, I know that such prayers were all that held
us together at certain times of our struggles.
prayers---the prayers of the righteous on my behalf (see Mormon 5:21). Those
who love me as God loves me, pleading according to their faith, that I would not
only have what I needed to weather through, but also to find Christ in my struggles.
When you have been prayed for like that, it can be difficult to put into words. It
is something you feel. As I look back, I know that such prayers were all that held
us together at certain times of our struggles.
As we seek to be lead by The Spirit, God knows the meaningful ways we can
serve those around us that will best point them to Christ---for it is only in
establishing a personal relationship with Christ that we can pass through
these fiery trials and to be able to receive the intended refinement.
serve those around us that will best point them to Christ---for it is only in
establishing a personal relationship with Christ that we can pass through
these fiery trials and to be able to receive the intended refinement.
I think of our Prophet's recent words, "Our Savior and Redeemer, Jesus Christ,
will
perform some of His mightiest works between now and when He comes again. We
will see miraculous indications that God the Father and His Son, Jesus Christ, preside
over this Church in majesty and glory. But in coming days, it will not be possible to
survive spiritually without the guiding, directing, comforting, and constant influence
of the Holy Ghost.
perform some of His mightiest works between now and when He comes again. We
will see miraculous indications that God the Father and His Son, Jesus Christ, preside
over this Church in majesty and glory. But in coming days, it will not be possible to
survive spiritually without the guiding, directing, comforting, and constant influence
of the Holy Ghost.
"My beloved brothers and sisters, I plead with you to increase your spiritual
capacity to receive revelation." We must rise up like never before.
We must be sharper and clearer instruments and learn how to receive personal
revelation with accuracy and precision.
capacity to receive revelation." We must rise up like never before.
We must be sharper and clearer instruments and learn how to receive personal
revelation with accuracy and precision.
Our Prophet also recently gave the charge to our youth to gather Israel. I was
delighted, yet surprised. How are they (and we) to accomplish this? I believe it's
actually a form of ministering. We gather in God's children one at a time as each
has the individually tailored invitation to come unto Christ. We know how to offer
that necessary invitation through personal revelation. We know what to say. We
know how to respond. We know what to do. Just like so many other things we
have visited together in this book, learning how to the Holy Ghost speaks to you
through personal revelation is also a process. It is one that we must improve at
(and quickly as our prophet has warned us). :)
delighted, yet surprised. How are they (and we) to accomplish this? I believe it's
actually a form of ministering. We gather in God's children one at a time as each
has the individually tailored invitation to come unto Christ. We know how to offer
that necessary invitation through personal revelation. We know what to say. We
know how to respond. We know what to do. Just like so many other things we
have visited together in this book, learning how to the Holy Ghost speaks to you
through personal revelation is also a process. It is one that we must improve at
(and quickly as our prophet has warned us). :)
God knows His children! We need not shrink in fear. We don't have to guess
or fumble. We simply need to ask Him to show us how to do it and He will show
us how to reach to those in our ward and stake families in ways that will be
meaningful, precise, in pointing them to Christ and to feel of God's love for them.
As individuals seek to build Zion and collectively we practice this pattern in our
ward and stake families, we can be as a lever to partner with God in lifting and
rescuing those from places of darkness, discouragement, and overwhelm.
or fumble. We simply need to ask Him to show us how to do it and He will show
us how to reach to those in our ward and stake families in ways that will be
meaningful, precise, in pointing them to Christ and to feel of God's love for them.
As individuals seek to build Zion and collectively we practice this pattern in our
ward and stake families, we can be as a lever to partner with God in lifting and
rescuing those from places of darkness, discouragement, and overwhelm.
May God grant us the strength to do it!
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