We should hit one last section before we close this chapter. We have hopefully taken the first few steps in recognizing with honesty that we are powerless over our own lives and the lives of those we love. We have also taken a good look at how you can continue to nourish your hope in Christ and allow it to grow into a strong faith.
Feel free to go back and review what we have covered so far right now or at any point as you need to. We all go at different speeds. We all absorb things differently. There is no “right” timeline on things sinking in. The important thing is that you realize when YOU have fully taken these steps enough to move forward. It’s okay if you need some time to let things settle, but don’t forget to finish. So, if you are ready now, then come! If not, press forward from here whenever you are ready.
In recovery work we summarize the first 3 steps of the 12-step program like this. 1. “I can’t.” This is the recognition of powerlessness; the fallen man and/or natural man tendencies you discovered. 2. “He can.” This is the hope in Christ we just spoke about. 3. “I will let Him.” This means trust in God. “I can’t. He can. I will let Him.”
Personally, I don’t think we ever fully outgrow the need to revisit this. We constantly have opportunities to work on this by learning to submit more quickly or more willingly. One of my friends said it’s the “recovery waltz:” 1...2...3...1...2...3. I am not far enough out yet to tell you from my own experience if this is a dance we always keep going in the back of our minds and quickly pick back up again when we let it drop or if we get it down solid enough that we don't have to keep it running it. I don’t know. But because of our natural man tendencies, we can be so quick to forget and often require constant reminders as we seek to stabilize out with the changes our Savior and His love make in us!
Let me ask you this question. “When do we need to trust?” It’s when we don’t know how it’s going to work out, what will happen, or we don’t see clearly what we need to do, right? If I can see it clearly then why would I need to trust someone else? It is often the times of our greatest darkness, uncertainty, or confusion that require the greatest level of trust. If it were not the case then trust would maybe come easier.
Our past-experiences of broken trust can also influence how easily and willingly we allow trust in God. Being willing to trust God can be difficult because of what has happened to us. Maybe trust has been broken for you in extremely painful ways.
Sometimes the trust may have been broken in seemingly smaller ways that may appear to be less impactful on the surface, yet they have wounded our ability to trust easily. There is no comparison for the experiences that may be no "big deal" to one person, yet may be deeply cutting for another. It doesn’t matter what may have happened to a person. There is no experience “too small” to be considered.
A member of our Stake Presidency recently pointed out that even when we go through the drive thru for a fast-food restaurant and they make a mistake on our order or forget the ketchup, napkins, or the straw, our trust is broken. As we live here in this fallen world with natural men and women all around us, even the best-intended of mortals will let us down.
The good news is that Heavenly Father isn’t like mortals who fall short of their promises! He isn’t saying one thing to our face, but doing something completely different behind our backs.
When He says He will do something, He means it. If you feel like God has let you down in the past, then I invite you to explore this deeper. As my life fell apart, I felt abandoned by God. I didn’t understand why God would allow all this darkness and confusion in my life. “If He loved me, He would have prevented this from happening.” In hindsight I can see that it actually was because He loves me that He allowed for these things to happen to me. It took me a long time to be able to see that.
Although I couldn’t see Him in those moments of darkness, now I can look back and see that He constantly sent tiny messages of love and awareness. I can see clearly now that these messages came in the form of just the right resources when we were ready for the next step, friends or teachers to cross my path at just the right moments, and strength to carry on when I felt already stretched farther than I could bear.
Sometimes these situations can be complex and you will have to do your own exploring for yourself, but God wants us to trust Him. He is worthy of our trust. Remember, He isn’t operating from the desire for control, power, or with an ulterior motive like mortals do. He will never ask us to do something that wouldn’t be for our ultimate good. That doesn’t necessarily mean we will like what He asks us to do or that it will be comfortable either. He also allows for each of His children to have their own agency, knowing full-well how we impact each others’ lives both for good and ill. Although it can be difficult and painful with our mortal perspective, He only parents with love---because He is love.
There are probably other reasons why trust is important. I want to hit on just two of them. First, trust is how we can find peace. "A beautiful little blind girl was sitting on the lap of her father in a crowded compartment in a train. A friend seated nearby said to the father, ‘Let me give you a little rest,’ and he reached over and took the little girl on his lap.
"A few moments later the father said to her, 'Do you know who is holding you?'
'No,' she replied, 'but you do.'
"Some might be inclined to say, 'What a perfect trust this child had in her father.' Others may say, 'What a wonderful example of love.' And still others might say, 'What an example of faith.' To me it indicates a beautiful blending of all of these principles, which brought a priceless inner peace to the child. She knew she was safe because she knew her father knew who was holding her. Affection, respect, and care over the years had placed in this little girl’s heart a peace that surpasseth all understanding. She was at peace because she knew and trusted her father.
"We plead for peace in our prayers and thoughts. Where is peace? Can we ever enjoy this great gift while wars, rumors of wars, discord, evil, and contention swirl all around us? The answer is yes. Just as the little blind girl sat on the stranger’s lap with perfect contentment because her father knew him, so we can learn to know our Father and find inner peace as we live his principles.
"It is very significant that when Jesus came forth from the tomb and appeared to his disciples, his first greeting was, 'Peace be unto you.' (Luke 24:36.) Peace—not passion, not personal possessions, not personal accomplishments nor happiness—is one of the greatest blessings a man can receive. Our trust and our relationship with our Heavenly Father should be one similar to that of the little blind girl and her earthly father. When sorrow, tragedy, and heartbreaks occur in our lives, wouldn’t it be comforting if, when the whisperings of God say, 'Do you know why this has happened to you?' we could have the peace of mind to answer 'No, but you do.'
"Certainly peace is the opposite of fear. Peace is a blessing that comes to those who trust in God. It is established through individual righteousness. True personal peace comes about through eternal vigilance and constant righteous efforts. No man can be at peace who is untrue to his better self. No man can have lasting peace who is living a lie. Peace can never come to the transgressor of the law. Commitment to God’s laws is the basis for peace. Peace is something we earn. It is not a gift. Rather, it is a possession earned by those who love God and work to achieve the blessings of peace. It is not a written document. It is something that must come from within" (Source).
We can find a peace that is independent from other people or the circumstances outside of ourselves as we trust God. We can have what we need regardless of what is or isn’t happening in our lives.
Second, as we have a firm trust, we are willing to do anything that God or our Savior asks of us. This is important because of what still lies ahead in our journey. The requirement of trust isn’t something we can just skip over because They are going to ask you to do some things that may be really hard. You are going to have to be brave---maybe even more brave than you have ever been before. This trust can act as an anchor for you.
“The movie Aladdin does a beautiful job illustrating the importance of trusting [Christ]. Do you remember the scene when Jasmine and Aladdin were talking on the rooftop and the soldiers suddenly burst in the door? Aladdin knew exactly how to escape, but instead of charging ahead, he took a moment to reach out his hand to the princess and ask, ‘Do you trust me?’ He knew she was going to have to take a very daring leap in order to be free and he wanted to make sure that she trusted him to lead the way. The question popped up a second time when Aladdin offered to take her on a magic carpet ride. Because Jasmine was hesitant to climb on the carpet, Aladdin again held out his hand and asked, ‘Do you trust me?’ He was trying to help the princess see that she was putting her life in the hands of someone she could trust.
“In similar fashion, [Christ] is reaching out to us and asking, ‘Do you trust me?’(see Psalms 37:5 and 64:10, and 2 Nephi 4:34 and 22:2). Our answer is important because he’s going to ask us to do some very difficult things in order to make it out of [Satan’s lies]. In the scenes ahead, we’re going to have to walk some unfamiliar paths, leave behind stuff that we love, and go through some experiences that we may not be comfortable with. Like Jasmine, the only way we can succeed is by developing such deep and abiding trust in Christ that we’re willing to do anything he asks. Even if it isn’t easy. Even if it doesn’t make sense. Even if others around us don’t approve or understand. Jesus Christ really can save us from the awful monster, but we must trust him enough to place our life in his all-powerful hands” (Wightman, A Princess Story, 61).
When we trust we will do anything. In order to proceed in this journey we must develop such a deep trust that whatever we are prompted to do, we will do it. However He tells us to do it, whatever it entails, whenever He asks us to do it, we will respond. Without such a deep trust we will hold back. We can be paralyzed by fear. God holds in store mighty power, cleansing, and healing for those who will develop such a deep trust, then act in accordance to what we are prompted to do in our own personal lives.
This verse in Psalms has given me courage at critical times in my life. “Commit thy way unto the Lord; trust also in him; and he shall bring it to pass” (Psalm 37:5). Do you see the pattern? We must commit ourselves, trust, and then He will bring it about. It doesn’t work the other way around. That sounds like what Korihor said, “If thou wilt show me a sign, that I may be convinced that there is a God, yea, show unto me that he hath power, and then will I be convinced of the truth of thy words” (Alma 30:43). When we try to flip this pattern around, we are sign-seekers. Again, it is our willingness to be committed to whatever God asks of us and our trust in Him that are required first.
This is used with permission from an individual who wishes to remain anonymous. “I realized something yesterday. Just as I hesitate to trust my husband, I think I feel the same towards Heavenly Father. I’m not proud of it. I could feel him with me last year when I was in the thick of things. Even though it was the most wretched period of my life, I can’t recall a time where I felt so close to Him (besides when I’m at the temple). I could feel him holding my hand through all the heartbreak. Weeping with me as I shed rivers of tears. Heeding my call when I wailed and sobbed my day away, mourning the loss of a life and love I believed in. I KNOW He was there for me through everything...so why do I hesitate to trust God out of everyone?
“Yesterday, I gave it some thought. Maybe somewhere along the way, I EXPECTED Him to change my life by now. Solve my problems. Fix my marriage. Fix (and even punish) my husband. I mean, if anyone can do it, He can. But maybe that’s my problem. I created an expectation out of self-entitlement because I’m hurting. It’s not being met and I’m left pouting about it like a child.
“I wish I wasn’t so quick to tune into the negativity. I don’t want to be mad at God. I don’t want to not trust him. He’s the reason I’m still here. So how do I get over that hurdle? How do I rid myself of this sense of entitlement? How do I...LET God be my refuge again like I did before?”
When I replied, I basically shared with her what I already told you. I also said, “And on the not so good days, I have learned that God wants me to come to Him honestly. There have been times when it has hurt and been confusing. He can take it! He can take my anger or bitterness. He not only can take it, but He WANTS to take it. He wants me to come to Him with my struggles. And through His Son, Jesus Christ, He will bless me, strengthen me, and I can always have His companionship as I seek it.”
She replied later with this beautiful experience. “...I went and prayed for the first time in a long time. Praying has genuinely felt hard, but I just knew that I NEEDED to. I struggled to get the words out at first, but as soon as I began to tell God the truth out loud without worrying what it sounded like...boom! It was like a floodgate opened. I just asked him to help me reach back to Him, and to not be afraid to because I know I need Him even though I don’t always act like I do. What a positive difference honesty with Heavenly Father can make.”
It may not be as immediate or dramatic as this woman’s experience, but we can learn to trust or to trust God again. He is patiently waiting for your invitation just like He was for her.
If you need to take more time to ponder on this section, you need further study, or you feel called to further action on your own, please do any of that before moving forward. We want to make sure this is securely anchored before proceeding.
In the next chapter we will take a deeper look at the roots of your personal natural man and fallen man tendencies. We will also arm you with some awareness and tools to fight in ways you probably didn’t realize were even possible before.
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