I, personally, have been thrilled with the string of changes we have been recently experiencing in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints; however, I am mindful and aware that not everyone has shared my same reaction. I have been praying for inspiration to know how to lead these women, too. Tonight, it hit really close to home as a dear friend texted me. She was planning to attend the temple for the first time in 2019, but has started to hear rumors. She reached out because she is worried about how she will be able to process and absorb one more change. I share her raw words with permission.
"I just am struggling to keep up with all the changes...nothing in the Church feels safe anymore...And [the temple] was about the only thing left that felt safe."
What do we do when we are privileged to such a moment...when someone opens up and shares how they really feel or what they really think? ...When what they share hangs fragilely in the air and there is the big risk of being misjudged or shut down...? Do we "fix" it? Do we go into logic or feel like we have to defend? Do we shut down ourselves as the listener? ...Or can we sit in it and hold the space for those we love...as they sift and sort...and allow them to be wherever they are at and experience whatever they may be experiencing---even if it is a stark contrast to our own experience?
I did my very best to validate and I thanked her for sharing so honestly and sincerely. As we wrote back and forth, she continued, "...General Conference at this point is absolutely terrifying. But then I feel guilty for not being excited for new revelation. It is all emotionally overwhelming and miserably lacking in any sense of security the Church historically provided. Unfortunately, part of me wonders if that is the point...To force people away from relying on the institution to relying more fully on Christ. But something and somewhere in life should still feel safe, and no where does any more."
I can't speak from the perspective of struggling with all of the changes. Like I said, I have actually welcomed them with open and eager arms. Although I cannot directly relate to these specific details, I can easily touch that part of me that still remembers what it felt like to crave safety from all of the places that used to hold peace, but because of the circumstances in my life, were actually temporarily extremely painful. I bet each one of us can dig (deeply if we need to) and remember such a time and the disorienting feeling or the racing thoughts...or whatever it was for us.
We can relate.
We all know that.
I'm not professing to hold all the answers, but what felt right to me may feel right to you if you are ever privileged to such an experience---whether it is directly related to reactions from the changes or other life experiences. That was to be a safe place...A place where she knew she could let down her mask (or at least was willing to test out the waters to do so). A place where she could feel love. A place where it's okay to be in process of her journey.
I am confident she will figure it out...I don't know the details of how or exactly where she will land, but I am committed to holding the space for her and loving her as she sorts through it. I don't have to fix it. I actually can't, but I can share love from The Source that can give her the answers she needs.
So, just in case you have felt very alone in your thoughts and feelings about so much change so very fast lately, my brave friend will tell you that you actually aren't alone...and as we as your friends, family members, and leaders become aware of you and more sensitive to you, I hope you will never feel alone...and when you do, remember to reach outward and upward. <3
Sending love and light!
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