The year 2013 brought about some life-changing experiences for me and my little family. At the time, I had three young kids ranging in age from 4 years to 7 months old. My former husband had struggled with an addiction for most of our marriage. We had been married for a little less than five years. There were times throughout our marriage that he would struggle with this addiction, we would discuss it, and then I thought all was well and we would move on. Time and time again, this was our pattern. There were happy times, and there were low times, just with any marriage. It finally came to a point where he felt like he just couldn't do it anymore and wanted a divorce. I can remember the day vividly. I pleaded and begged for him to stay. His family and various friends did, as well. I had several offer counseling services and other avenues to help save our marriage, but a divorce was the best answer for us. It was a scary scary time. I remember feeling like all was lost and really prayed to know if a divorce was the right answer.
With numbness enveloping my entire being, we went forth with a divorce. I had no idea what the future would hold. My biggest fear was the “what ifs” and how my children would be able to live. I received a priesthood blessing. In that blessing it promised me that my children would be able to recognize the difference between good and evil, and that we would have a bright future. I hung onto those words like a baby hanging onto their favorite lovey or blankey. Those words helped get me through.
I was able to find a full time job that was flexible enough to do with three young children, I found an in-home daycare that was a good fit, I took each day with stride, and I PRAYED! Oh, how I prayed!! I have never had the windows of heaven open so much for me in my entire life! I had experiences where the veil was very thin for me during this time. One such experience I had was there came a time when I needed to find better housing. I have always been one who will not move somewhere unless I get confirmation that that's where I am to be. One night, before bed, I prayed to know where we should move and to have affordable housing open for my little family. I woke up the next morning and had a strong prompting to look online at a specific website. Sure enough, there was a brand new-never been lived in- town home coming available right when I needed to move. It was affordable and less than what was in my budget! It was one of many miracles that would come into my life.
As I began seeing and recognizing all of the little miracles that continued to pour in, I began recognizing how much I was prospering. It's not to say that it was easy. Being a single mom is HARD work! However, Christ does not leave His children comfortless! He comes to them, as we seek Him, especially in our darkest hour. “By small and simple things, are great things brought to pass”. By recognizing the small little miracles and blessings, I began to have pure JOY, and my testimony was strengthened. More importantly, though, my relationship with Christ was strengthened as I had to lean on Him more than I have ever before.
I learned many things throughout this experience. There are a few lessons I learned that have really stuck with me, however. One lesson I learned was about free agency. We can not control or change how people will act. No matter how much I tried changing who I was, or doing things “better”, my former husband still had that addiction. My choices did not cause him to act the way he did. It was not my fault. As women, we try to fix the situation. However, we are all blessed with free agency and are free to choose. This was a very hard lesson for me to learn, but one that has been able to bless me even today! Another lesson I learned was to learn to find JOY no matter the circumstance. Look for the little things that are positive in your life. Even if it as small as you had breakfast this morning, or you were able to have a candy bar. Look for the good, and your heart will be softened. Through Christ, you will be lifted up and will be comforted!
The year is now 2019, it has been 5.5 years since my divorce was finalized. I have been blessed with a husband who loves me in a way that I never thought possible from a spouse, and we have been able to add a little baby girl (our miracle baby) to our family. Life isn't free of trials, but it is oh so good! Being able to remarry was a blessing that I never expected. However, had I stayed single and never remarried, that would have been okay too. One does not have to be married to have joy. This is another lesson I learned. Learn to love yourself as a daughter/son of God.
There are 841 references to the word, “joy”, found in the scriptures. “... men are, that they might have joy” (2 Nephi 2:25). Lean on Christ, pray, and find the good in the little things in life, and you will be able to get through any experience that comes your way!
Beautiful. Thanks for sharing your experience of overcoming tragedy! I love your bright faith!!
ReplyDelete