2019

I have never grown so much or so steadily in a 12 month period as I have in 2019! The demarkation of God's presence in my quiet, alone time every day and God's continual presence throughout the remainder of my day, in every day moments, has blurred more than I ever imagined possible. He has peeled back new layers of my heart, and I have learned what it means to rely on Him more deeply than I understood I could before. I am learning to take my cues and direction from Him and Him alone...I have truly learned that my value and worth rest solely in Him, as well as how to check into that at times when I wonder or question.

I have learned so much about MY body and how to better care for it in individually tailored ways. I have learned so much about MY amazing mind and what it needs to stay aligned with truth. I have learned so much about myself and who I truly am. Huge puzzle pieces have clicked into place for my personal mission. I know who I am and why I'm here on this planet more clearly than I ever have before. It is simply thrilling to me! There is so much to learn, understand, and experience. I'm not perfect, yet I have experienced new levels of self love, self awareness, and self mastery that I never dreamed possible.

Mark teases me saying, "I'm your husband and I can't even keep up to date with everything going on in your life!"

I know...

Our family has been wildly blessed and obviously carried to pass through another year of fast-paced growth! I realized I have shared more on FB and IG than this blog in a long, long time. So here is the simplest recap I feel I can provide.

By the time I finish the trainings on our 2020 calendar to FL, CA, and NM, I will have had just under 1000 hours of yoga training in 27 months!!! That doesn't even include travel time. I've taken plenty of red eye flights plus one training last year was a 90 minute drive one direction @ 2 weekends/month x 7 months!...I listened to a lot of podcasts at that time in my life! :) I have traveled to CA, ID, and NY for trainings this year (plus a training in UT). That 1000 hours is also separate from the time I spent training in brain wellness last year (+ the traveling to and from GA and MN to train).

It has been NUTS for our schedules and heavenly for my hungry mind!!! :)

Yet, our family's sacrifices have opened up a wonderful door for me to be qualified to work with my clients and students! That's the part that I have LOVED the most about the choices our family has made this year (and last year). It's indescribable to put the pure joy into words...watching understanding dawn on the faces of my students and clients, their bodies visibly softening as they "get it!" ...receiving texts, e-mails, or VM's where they want to share with me their successes in applying what they have discovered and learned...it gets me every time! It's an amazing privilege to observe the transformation as we spend time together week after week. I am so in awe that I can play a tiny part in others' healing journeys!!! I love it so much!!!

I was given a beautiful blessing and told that Jesus Christ's gifts bring salvation, and I was blessed in my efforts to bring those gifts to others. Truly, that is the heart of why I do what I do: <3 helping others to find wholeness and abundance in Jesus Christ, their personal Savior!

I am learning to be more patient with the unexpected twists and turns of my journey, because at the other end of the choices our family has made have been moments of doubt in myself, doubts as to whether or not our little family could bear more time with me away from home, heartache to not be there in person as often for Mark and the kids as we have been used to (we use Marco Polo a lot on training weeks!), and lots of mommy guilt. As much as opportunities to help support others in their journeys totally lights up my teacher heart, I was made to be a wife, mom, and homemaker! <3

There is nowhere else I would rather be in the whole world than our home; nobody else I would rather be with than Mark and the kids. I have so much satisfaction in simple things like setting a hot meal in front of my hungry boys or sitting on the end of Sennika's bed for late night chats. It's a privilege to massage Mark's tired shoulders and listen as he sifts through his day at work. I love reading to the kids and the tickle fights. I love folding laundry and kissing freshly scrubbed little ones goodnight. I guess it's the teacher heart inside of me, but I love watching my husband and children grow and stretch and change, as well as prayerfully devising how I can encourage and support that in them individually.

“As mother, teacher, or nurturing Saint, she molds living clay to the shape of her hopes. In partnership with God, her divine mission is to help spirits live and souls be lifted. This is the measure of her creation” (President Nelson).

Yes, the days are long (especially as a homeschooling mom), :) yet being a wife and mom is all I have ever wanted to be...and so maybe you can see a bit that it has tugged hard at my heart to feel such a wide spectrum of emotions, knowing it's right in this time and season to divide my attention between home, work (and training), and church calling this year...yet wishing I could simply be home with my little ones instead.

I have been studying feverishly to understand more clearly about priesthood power and authority and how it relates to me as as a seeker of the eternal, wife, mother, and in my service to the women and their families in my church congregation. I'm learning so much that is helping me to more be consistent and increasingly intentional about tapping into the available blessings that are right at my fingertips!

All I can say is simply: when you are on your right path, the Lord is with you. This burden "should" have been so heavy for us, yet it hasn't felt like that at all. It's been easy (as we've given it to Jesus Christ) and the doors that have opened obviously haven't been my doing. Caring well for my family or clients and students isn't "my" work, so of course Heavenly Father will continue to bless me, strengthen me, and inspire me day after day as I do my best to play my part in His plan for His children. <3

And Mark has been a huge reason too that it's all been possible! Truly, there is no man more patient on the entire planet (it honestly feels like that)!!! We have had late nights as I've shared with him news of more doors of opportunity opening with a heavy heart and many tears, wondering how we will do it all...only to be met by his instant enthusiasm and willingness to support me to make it happen, taking my hand and showing me how, and cheering me every step of the way. We have done our very best to get creative on how to have me home as much as possible. We know Mark isn't me and can't replace or duplicate my unique presence in our home (just as I can't his), yet he has done an amazing job to step up and step in to smooth out my absences as much as humanly possible (and our little ones have also been surrounded by angels as one of many "parallel" blessings our family has been given for our efforts to serve others this year).

I had a moment of pure peace the other day. I know I am (and have been) exactly where I need to be. I'm doing the best I can to prioritize myself, then my family, and everybody and everything else gets what is left after that. :) It has worked so well between Heavenly Father pouring out unspeakable blessings on our family, our efforts to be as united as possible as a couple and family, and literally being blessed to easily toggle back and forth between roles and responsibilities with total presence for whatever "hat" I'm wearing at that moment.

What will 2020 look like? 

I am still taking brain wellness clients. I have been humbled and amazed to have so many clients traveling from out of town and of out state to work with me lately. Nearly as miraculous, I've been able to schedule most of my clients in time slots when Mark and the kids have all had commitments. I LOVE what I do with QNRT and that I can help support my clients in the aftermath of trauma! I'm grateful that we've found a rhythm that is also working well for our family! We expect 2020 to continue at a similar pace for us here.

I was able to pitch my manuscript to a few publishing companies. I have two that want it! I'm working with an editor right now in my "spare time" to prepare my submissions! Just because I submit it, doesn't automatically mean I will get a contract with either one of them...yet I still have hopes it will one day be a physical book that is easily sharable with others!

If you haven't heard: I signed a contract with a child therapist in Tremonton and will now teach all of my kids yoga therapy classes out there. Mark will continue to go into work early and come home early on that day to be with our kids while I teach. Paul (the therapist) and I are both pinching ourselves because we both have been looking for "each other" for a long time. It's seriously hand-and-glove perfect for both of us and fits what we were both looking for! Contact Kate (info on the flyer) to schedule.

I am heading to FL in a few weeks to train in prenatal yoga. By the time I come back, I will have finished 285 hours of the requirements with "only" 30 additional hours of teaching left to officially certify through Yoga Alliance. It's optional to certify, but Mark and I feel we have come so far, we might as well finish it if we can. Shortly after Mark and I started brainstorming on how to create this...out of the blue, we have been handed the opportunity to teach at the birth center in Brigham City. Who knows if it will actualize, but at this point, it looks like it will. Win-win! So I expect to teach weekly prenatal yoga classes soon to finish this certification and hope to provide a safe space for mammas and their babies!

I will be teaching one very last round of Prana in Brigham starting in February!!! This time I will hold not only a women's group, but also a men's group. Details for both here. After that, we are shifting gears. I can't share details right now, but I will be working with a therapists' office on some exciting projects in 2020!

I am also teaching a 50 hour course to help share the foundational principles of teaching yoga as Christian teachers (Starts in Jan). You won't be an officially certified instructor after this course; however, with similar training, I taught yoga: in my home, online, at a therapist's office, at a dance studio, and at a kids gym. I've included highlights of teaching yoga to kids, working with pregnant moms, trauma-informed yoga, and working with those seeking to recover from addiction in the curriculum (plus much more too)! Details are here. The flyer says "live;" however, it's actually being shared with pre-recorded sessions.

I am building an online yoga school for all my courses and hope to launch several courses this spring. I have been recording when my kids are at their all day homeschooling co-op group every week. :) I plan to have the Prana, Roots, and Fortitude courses with versions that openly weave my Christian faith available through the school. I also foresee a prenatal yoga therapy course tailored to those who are pregnant after sexual trauma, a couples yoga therapy course for those rebuilding their marriages after addiction and trauma, a parent's yoga therapy course where I teach parents to play yoga at home with their own children, a course or some classes for children to participate in, and a yoga therapy course for addiction recovery (as well as my teacher training course). Whew! My goal is to get all 9 courses available in the school before the end of 2020.

I am excited about this change and anticipate it will give me the best of both worlds: I will still be able to "be there" for my students and my life's work will still be happening, yet my family will get me "real time" again! More details in the coming months. <3

Thank you for trusting me to help guide you to yourself and your Higher Power! You bless my life and teach me so much! I'm grateful our paths have crossed!


I love YOU!
XOXO

PS

If you care about the other 5 members of my family and a brief summary of their 2019 :)

When Mark wasn't playing "Mr. Mom" this year, he spent quite a bit of his time at the bowling alley. :) He invested in his first pair of bowling shoes and consistently made the top 10 high scores each month. Sometimes he went alone and sometimes he enjoyed treating friends to the bowling alley too.

We are grateful that he still works at Freeus. Freeus was ranked 1005 in the Inc 5000 list this year, which lists the most prestigious ranking of the nation's fastest-growing private companies. WOW!!! It's crazy to think that when Mark started 4 1/2 years ago, he sat on a bucket for a chair with an uninstalled door as a desktop, no working restroom or fridge/microwave at the office, and only two other employees working in the UT office. Now Freeus is in their second building because they have grown at such an astounding rate.

Mark works closely with the biggest dealers to keep them happy, which has meant he has traveled quite a bit this year (which has made him very happy with how much he loves traveling). He gets a kick out of testing new products on the weekends and evenings.

Sennika (12) wants to be an astronomer and it feels like she has painted nearly everything she owns "galaxy" with her acrylic paints and clear nail polish. She LOVES her new astronomer Christmas jammies (in this picture) and huskies (dogs). She loves her tumbling class and has learned a lot about perseverance, even when it's challenging. She has been to the temple almost every week this year and has brought family names almost every time (which she finds herself). She made a goal to make it to every temple in Utah in 2019...we fell only two temples short (which she will catch with Gavin in February), yet she is happy with how close she came to her goal. Going to YW has been a tough transition for her. She is still deep into imaginative play with barbies and dolls, reads 1-3 700+ page novels every week in her spare time, and says she is the only youth in her church group without a cell phone. She has struggled to feel accepted by her peers in our ward and doesn't feel like she fits in with them. Thankfully, her two besties aren't actually moving cross country in a few weeks like their family was originally planning! We are thankful for more time with such wonderful friends who resonate so closely with her creative heart. Mark, Senn, and I have had some connecting discussions together about hard facts of life: that we simply aren't "buddy buddy" with every person and that's okay as long as we have those in our lives who we can be ourselves with. It's been tender to observe as she uncovers who she really is and weighs whether or not she will be true to that or snuff it out in an attempt to "fit in." Even though Sennika can be sassy, she is one of the most compassionate and caring people I have ever met!

We have been so proud of Gavin's growth this year!!! He has opened up for the first time in vulnerable ways to not only us as parents, but also many others. He was heartbroken to lose one of his best friends this year, yet did a wonderful job being brave and speaking up. The shift in friendship has helped heal Sennika and Gavin's broken friendship in ways Mark and I had no idea how to encourage the repair (They are BFF's now!). He goes to ward choir and scouts with one of his best friends in our ward. With turning 11 last month, he had his interview last week, and we get to take him to the temple next week and he will be ordained a Deacon! He is mostly excited (and a little nervous about learning the "routes" and not dropping the tray as he helps pass the Sacrament). Gavin is still head-over-heels about Legos. He loves to read too and spent a huge portion of his time this year on the trampoline. He also can't wait to earn screen time to put it towards time on the Wii U (usually lego Jurassic Park or Minecraft). He goes to Urban Gym every week and loves getting to run around, jump, and flip. He is thorough, observant, and kind.

Leland (9) is much less impulsive than he used to be...yet still regularly surprises us. :) Here he is pictured applying a homemade tattoo onto Shipton's back (he used trace paper and washable markers and figured out how to write the words backwards). Le is the sweetest kids with the biggest and most tender heart. He is eager to help, and he is such a humorous and fun playmate...then he can get so wild or emotional that it's almost like he is two completely different kids. He has grown so much this year in learning to be present with himself, be patient and kind with himself, allow himself to feel his feelings, and he is doing much better to manage and regulate his emotions by himself (or mostly by himself). He loves to fold origami and draw. Lately, he has been turning blank white paper into grid paper, then filling it in to make what he calls, "Mosaic" pictures, with colored patterns or pictures filled into the tiny squares to make one big picture. Leland makes us laugh as a family! I shared with our stake that he introduced himself to Elder Gong (one of our 12 Apostles) as "F. Art" instead of "Leland" when Elder Gong asked him his name! :S He has been working hard in karate and earned a new stripe on his belt this spring. He has been super into frogs and begs for a pet frog (he even added "bull frog" to the grocery list in hopes that his sneaky efforts would result in his wish actualizing).

Shipton (5): even though it's winter here, I can't convince him to wear anything except his swimsuits or t-shirts and shorts! We've come to a compromise that he will put another layer of long sleeves over top his summer apparel whenever we have to leave the house. He is all boy and loves to play rough and tumble. He is seriously the perfect baby considering how difficult it is to be the baby of the family and keep up with everyone else, especially after such a good-sized gap between Shipton and Leland. He is so patient and jumps right into the older kids' games (and they are usually so good to include him too)...if not, he can hold his own. :) He has 4 wiggly loose front teeth right now that he is patiently waiting to fall out. He is so proud of himself for learning to read and is reading simple sentences now. If he had it his way, he would sit on my lap (or even more preferably to him, Mark's lap) all day and be read to. He is still Mark's shadow whenever Mark is home. These two are inseparable buddies! He didn't want to sign up for any extra curricular activities except mom's yoga class. <3 He still crawls into our bed most nights, but he has grow to be confident and independent more than ever before. He loves to draw, paint, stamp, play playdough, hole punch, and staple, or do whatever the boys are doing. He has tried so hard to be reverent lately during family scriptures and prayers because he learned about "spirit armor" and wants to put his on and keep it on.

Thanks for being part of our lives and sharing this breath-taking journey with us! We have so many wonderful people in our lives, and we love you!