When we are young---in age or young in our faith journey---the world seems black and white. There is a simplicity we enjoy in our innocence and inexperience...this seemingly cut-and-dried, predictable world.
As we move through our journey, many of us have difficult and painful experiences that challenge those young beliefs. These experiences can easily lead to the loss of faith. Because these moments feel so intense and so complex, we don't have a place to hold them with our current capacity. It may not "always" look this, but for me in my own journey, my life was completely shattered at this point. My faith, trust, truth, understanding...were all invited to grow. I now know these experiences can also be the same birthing place for deeply rooted faith.
In this place of brokenness, we have lost our once naive innocence---the cotton candy, the lollipops, and the "social doctrine fluff" are all gone. Often even before the dust can settle in this confusing place, we are now suddenly seeing our lives and the world around us as filled with complexities that seem more than we can bear. As we try to navigate through this, we can often fall into the "fool's trap" of "all-or-nothing thinking." Endlessly looping in this place can quickly lead to bitterness and skepticism. We think we finally see the full truth and we are the "smart ones" because we are seeing "the other side," while others around are still stuck back in "Pollyanna-ville." We are discovering that the life we once knew as only smilely faces and warm fuzzies actually has an unexplored, and often ugly, depth. A common approach, especially initially, is to believe there is only room for one truth. Such an approach actually keeps us stuck, churning in this place of confusion.
In a paradox, both seemingly contradicting things do indeed exist side-by-side. We need to look for a deeper understand of the Universal truth that governs each paradox. This new place of confusion defies our previous level of understanding, but as our capacity is expanded through discovering and applying the overarching and whole truth, we will be able to eventually hold it (as well as the other future paradoxes we will encounter in our journey).
A doctrinal example is justice and mercy. The Atonement makes it so both can co-exist. Another example: our value and worth do not fluctuate or change, and all blessing require work in order to obtain them (we qualify/are qualified for them). Understanding our Heavenly Parents' natures, my own potential, and developing a relationship with Them has allowed me to hold this paradox. A third: We can be content with our current life while also continually striving to improve. It's possible to be fully present in this moment and also reach for eternity at the very same time. Other examples: forgiveness and setting limits. I have learned that we can forgive someone, and they still may not be worthy of our trust. There is room for both! It doesn't have to be one or the other! A final example: as I was healing from betrayal trauma, I found myself angry at my husband, yet longing to also connect with him. I was experiencing both emotions, and even at the same time. These and other applications seemed confusing to me until I began to move beyond the fools trap by realizing there was room for more than one truth at the same time.
Paradoxes are everywhere! Hitting something really hard can suddenly unveil that realization in our lives!
...something hard like COVID---and all that has been brought to light in terms of our health care system, leaders in government, organizations, economics, etc....so as we try to discuss things like civil rights and face masks and freedom, it feels like a complex mess too impossible to navigate with clarity...these can all be experiences throwing us out of our previously simple approach to life into this place of intense confusion.
I have learned that it IS possible to find the simplicity beyond the complexity. For me, learning more about how to interact with truth has been a big part of my answer to this. As with everything I write, it may or may not be part of yours, too. I'm also confident these words here aren't "all." (And would love to have your words and wisdom to add to this discussion, too!).
I feel I'm observing two aspects of confusion with truth right now that are playing into the "fools' trap" of 2020:
1. There is room for everything! The whole truth is made up of many truths. Our tendency may be to reach in taking hold of something that is comfortable and familiar and IS actually true; however, because it's only part of the truth, it is as if it isn't true. It's only PART of the whole truth, and often taken out of context, but we promote it and tout it and hold it up as if it was the whole entire truth.
Again, it is possible for seemingly contradicting things to simultaneously exist. In the 2020 edition of this blog post, :) that maybe means there is room for wearing face masks to decrease the rapid spread of COVID and that the guidelines on masks have changed over time and might again as we learn more and being mindful of protecting our freedoms by keeping governments in check and the possibility that the virus might have been created in a lab and we are being watchful, knowing there will be some crazy things happening between now and Jesus Christ's return and ______, etc., etc., etc. We can easily promote only one of these pieces of truth when they are actually only part of the whole, thus getting so caught up in one part we miss the entire truth. We can quickly go down "rabbit holes" that validate the parts of the truth we are already comfortable with---ignoring the other pieces that would expand us to be able to hold the whole.
I believe this partially-blindness-to-the whole is driven by our previous programming, which we developed as we try to make sense of our life experiences. This programming can be changed, and that change can be expedited as we intentionally allow it to be. But until we "go there," it remains as is. We form a protective shell around our heart in response to the past experiences that hurt us...yet when left to itself, it will harden. This shell then taints our experiences and limits our capacity for what we are capable of holding in the present. The more work we do here, the more truth we can hold in the proper context as part of one single great whole.
2. There is a difference between Universal truth, personal truth, and situational truth. I acknowledge this topic itself is more complex than I will write here at this time. Some people believe there is no "right" or "wrong," no "good" or "bad," no "evil/sin" or "righteousness." ...I'm not one of those people. :) Universal truths are those truths that always have been truth, are true today, and will always will be true. God HAS given us commandments---truths that will lead to our greatest happiness (and the happiness of the others we effect by our choices). Immorality, dishonesty, cheating, arrogance, etc. need to be framed within Universal truths. We are children of Heavenly Parents. That is another example of something that also always has been, currently is, and always will always be true...no matter what we do (or don't do), say (or don't say), or how we are treated by others' while we live on this planet. It's impossible to change that Universal truth.
Although the doctrines and principles never, never change (because those are Universal truths!), the applications of them do! Doctrines are the "why's" and "what's;" applications are the "how's." There has to be personal truth because each one of us is a unique individual with different previous life experiences, beliefs, learning styles, talents, weaknesses, etc. even things that were part of us long before we came to this earth! When we ask God how to navigate something, do something, or what our next right step is in our own journey---"how" to bring the "why" and "what" into our own lives---"my" answer might not also be "your" answer. And we are BOTH right.
Situational truth requires a sensitivity to this moment, to this situation right now. Our personal answer last time might not also be our answer this time as a similar situation comes up again.
We get to go directly to God for all truth, because when we don't, it creates the confusion I feel we are observing right now: trying to get others to join us in our fixation on part of the truth rather than the whole, taking our own situational truths and promoting them as Universal truths, or forcing "my" personal truths onto someone as "your" personal truths. For the sake of simplicity, we can mix up and misalign these levels of truth in our own lives in endless combinations or endless combinations as we interact with each other! And so we end up trying to bring personal and situational truths into our own lives that really don't actually fit us. Words such as "nobody," "everybody," and "always" might be helpful to watch for (except Universal truth---which IS "always" <3). We end up believing, chasing, and promoting the non-Universal truths as if they were Universal truths. When we look "sideways" at one another, we can quickly become confused; however, when we always look "vertically" and check in with God, we will never go wrong.
Encapsulate these screwed up conversations in shame so people can't talk about them with each other civilly (because we don't know how to hold the discomfort inside of ourselves, let alone sit in others' discomfort)...
Douse it all with fear (+ our favorite coping mechanisms to handle fear such as trying to control or "checking out" of reality)...
...and maybe we are dancing around the roots of what 2020 is inviting us to unpackage and heal...what is being triggered and stirred inside of each one of us. <3
I wrote a FB post yesterday about what I believe is our solution to COVID. The way we "break through" and get to "the other side" to find that simplicity beyond complexity is by actually leaning into the mess. It sure may not feel like it, but it is the answer. Jesus Christ IS our answer. He will go with us into the dark. As we fine-tune our skills to #HearHim with confidence and clarity, He will guide us in this individually tailored journey. He will sit with us and love us as we rummage through all of these things inside of us. He will show us step by step what to let go of, and then why, what, and how to take our next step, and on and on. We can work with Him to uproot the lies that have made their way into our belief system as perceived truths. He will be with us as we rearrange all of it (I believe in terms of the 12 step program, this is one way of describing step 4). <3 As we invite Him in, He will show us the truth---on all its levels. Doing our own inward work is how we will get through this. When we undertake to find the simplicity beyond complexity, we might discover we are too busy working on ourselves to worry about what our neighbors are doing right now. :)
What I'm not saying is we should never discuss things with one another---on the contrary! I believe when we can have open, honest, and safe conversations, we can help each other to see our blind spots. I have been blessed by those I trust who have tenderly helped me sort through the knotted up messes I sometimes find myself in! Then I'm able to get on my knees with more clarity.
What I AM saying is we want to interact with one another within the correct contexts of truth! Let God be God in our lives---not google, news outlets, social media, or people who tell us "what we 'should' do."
I love to scoop it all in from all the sources around me, then take it back to my time with God where He and I can sort through it together. Some truths have taken more experiences before I know where to put them or what do with them. I believe a correct understanding of truth in the correct context changes the ways we interact with each other. If you want to engage in an open-minded discussion about face masks or civil rights or other details from our 2020 experiences, I'm here. I hope to always be approachable, regardless of the topic. <3 Let's do this together in love!
{Go have your own experience!!!}
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