Your Fallen Man Tendencies

I used to look down on those struggling with the “obvious” fallen man tendencies, such as smoking, alcohol, or drugs. Maybe that is your struggle.  Maybe you struggle with pornography or sex addiction.  Maybe it’s gambling.  I went the first 25 years of my life patting myself on my back that I wasn’t a part of any of that.

I started attending the LDS 12-step ARP (Addiction Recovery Program) meetings as well as group and private therapy because of my husband’s addiction.  To say I was angry and resentful was an understatement!  I was “only there” because my husband was a “scumbag!”  After I started attending the meetings and working the steps for myself, I discovered that I actually needed to be in those meetings and work the exact same steps as my husband for myself. It didn’t take me long to realize that I was a “scumbag” too! :)

We all have fallen man tendencies---things that we turn to, ways that we give in to the cravings, or enticements of this fallen world. We are talking about the things that bring us pleasure, though we must remember the bringing of pleasure isn’t inherently bad.  We may already be painfully aware that we tend towards things that are not within God’s commandments. Other tendencies may be more tricky to spot.  They are not obviously harmful, but a closer examination of the context is what alerts us.  We will talk more about why we turn to these and other things in the next chapter.

Right now I want you to take some time to consider upon this.  What are YOU turning to?  Going to these meetings was the first time it sunk in that it wasn’t okay that I nearly singlehandedly ate the entire family’s Christmas stocking candy. I began to recognize that my hiding in the pantry to eat my stash of chocolate so I could numb out was a problem.  Up until that point, I had commended myself for not indulging in the “carnal, sensual, and devilish” (Moses 5:13), but for the first time in my life I had eyes to see that wasn’t actually the truth.  I don’t in any way want to downplay the significance of what my husband was turning to with his fallen man tendencies.  I am not trying to make a comparison.  I am merely trying to point out that we all have them and until we acknowledge this aspect of the Fall personally, it will be more difficult to understand the implications of the Atonement on a personal level as well.

For now, take time on the next page to jot down what comes to mind.  You can always come back and write more or revisit later, but for now, write down something. It’s okay if you need to think about it for a few days or come back to this page as you discover something else about yourself.  What are YOUR fallen man tendencies?  How does Satan tempt you in regards to your body?  Really think and do your best to consider on those tendencies that may be “out of the box.” Maybe it is sweets.  Maybe it is overeating (or undereating).  Maybe it’s chocolate or diet coke.  Maybe it’s over exercising (or under exercising). Maybe it’s oversleeping. Are you a shopaholic or are you a workaholic?

Remember the three big pitfalls I mentioned as well: body image issues, using our body contrary to God’s commandments, as well as not caring properly for them. The important thing is that you figure out what YOU tend to turn to. If you can do that, you can be alerted to one the first aspects of what the Fall means for you personally, and therefore, what the Atonement can mean for you personally as well.

At the point that I began to discover my personal fallen man tendencies, I began to realize that it didn’t matter what it was that I was turning to. In my mind I had somehow separated out into different categories what was and wasn’t okay in terms of my body.  I was justifying my misuses because they weren’t “as bad as _____.”  I had not fully considered before that just because I could hold a current temple recommend and act out on my own fallen man tendencies, didn’t actually mean they were okay.  The things I was doing were no different than my husband’s addiction or others who may struggle with a more “obvious” addiction in regards to the wedge it was creating between me and God or the ways it perpetuated me relying on my own strength rather than taking my Savior into my unresolved past or into my daily life.  When I turn to physical experiences or other things rather than God through Christ, it distances me from Him. That is what sin does---even if we don’t realize it. We will discover more about this in later chapters. Although the consequences were not as dire, there were still consequences to the choices I was making.

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