That past section may have been scary for those who come from
families where there was neglect or unmet needs or maybe for people
like my husband who wants to pull out a calculator and run the budget
because he feels the weight and responsibility of providing for the physical,
emotional, and spiritual needs of each family member.:)
families where there was neglect or unmet needs or maybe for people
like my husband who wants to pull out a calculator and run the budget
because he feels the weight and responsibility of providing for the physical,
emotional, and spiritual needs of each family member.:)
You may have read it to mean me to say, “Have 100 children. Populate
the world like you are bunny rabbits.” I don’t want to make light of this
sacred privilege and obligation, but I want you to know that I hear your
valid concern!
the world like you are bunny rabbits.” I don’t want to make light of this
sacred privilege and obligation, but I want you to know that I hear your
valid concern!
Bearing children is only part of this aspect of the Fall. “...Adam and Eve
blessed the name of God, and they made all things known unto their sons
and their daughters” (Moses 5:12). We not only have the responsibility
as a couple to exercise our procreative powers in providing bodies for our
children, but we also have the responsibility to teach them as well.
blessed the name of God, and they made all things known unto their sons
and their daughters” (Moses 5:12). We not only have the responsibility
as a couple to exercise our procreative powers in providing bodies for our
children, but we also have the responsibility to teach them as well.
“...they shall also teach their children to pray, and to walk uprightly
before the Lord”(D&C 68:28; see also Deuteronomy 4:10, Deuteronomy 6:7,
Deuteronomy 11:19, Deuteronomy 31:19 & 22, and D&C 68:25). We must
take into account the ability to provide physically, emotionally, and spiritually
for each child. This is where couples can receive extremely different answers.
The unique combinations of husbands, wives, and children and their needs
is endless, just like the specific answers each couple will receive.
before the Lord”(D&C 68:28; see also Deuteronomy 4:10, Deuteronomy 6:7,
Deuteronomy 11:19, Deuteronomy 31:19 & 22, and D&C 68:25). We must
take into account the ability to provide physically, emotionally, and spiritually
for each child. This is where couples can receive extremely different answers.
The unique combinations of husbands, wives, and children and their needs
is endless, just like the specific answers each couple will receive.
Before I say anything else, let me acknowledge the real pain in having a
spouse who not only doesn’t live up to this, but also causes great harm
and hurt by exposing our children to darkness in various forms. God said this
to husbands who had been unfaithful to their wives, “...Ye have broken the
hearts of our tender wives, and lost the confidence of our children, because
of your bad examples before them; and the sobbings of their hearts ascend
up to God against you. And because of the strictness of the word of God,
which cometh down against you, many hearts died, pierced with deep
wounds” (Jacob 2:35).
spouse who not only doesn’t live up to this, but also causes great harm
and hurt by exposing our children to darkness in various forms. God said this
to husbands who had been unfaithful to their wives, “...Ye have broken the
hearts of our tender wives, and lost the confidence of our children, because
of your bad examples before them; and the sobbings of their hearts ascend
up to God against you. And because of the strictness of the word of God,
which cometh down against you, many hearts died, pierced with deep
wounds” (Jacob 2:35).
Parenting children after sex addiction or other heartbreaking situations
brings challenges. Most children are affected by this, even if we have
been careful to keep arguments behind closed doors. They may unknowingly
sense our tension. They are watching and learning lessons from our interactions
with them and their other parent. Although we cannot undo the exposure or
hurt that has been done, we can point each child to the One who can bring
healing. Christ is the one who can work with our child through his or her
painful past.
brings challenges. Most children are affected by this, even if we have
been careful to keep arguments behind closed doors. They may unknowingly
sense our tension. They are watching and learning lessons from our interactions
with them and their other parent. Although we cannot undo the exposure or
hurt that has been done, we can point each child to the One who can bring
healing. Christ is the one who can work with our child through his or her
painful past.
I need to tie up this section and then we will explore some specific ways to
minister in parenting, especially acknowledging that no child has perfect
mortal parents or passes through life without difficulties. It is by Divine design
that each one of us has the opportunity to find our Savior and being aware of
the power we have to minister to our children can be key in guiding their discoveries.
I am reminded of what President Nelsen said a few years ago, “We need women
who have a bedrock understanding of the doctrine of Christ and who will use that
understanding to teach and help raise a sin-resistant generation” (Source).
Knowing that this same man who spoke that is now our prophet as we begin
a new era of The Church focused on ministering, does that just give you chills?
As we minister from the inside out---as we first and constantly become better
disciples of Jesus Christ---we know how to minister as parents. We know how
to point them to Jesus Christ in such a way that they are “sin-resistant!”
minister in parenting, especially acknowledging that no child has perfect
mortal parents or passes through life without difficulties. It is by Divine design
that each one of us has the opportunity to find our Savior and being aware of
the power we have to minister to our children can be key in guiding their discoveries.
I am reminded of what President Nelsen said a few years ago, “We need women
who have a bedrock understanding of the doctrine of Christ and who will use that
understanding to teach and help raise a sin-resistant generation” (Source).
Knowing that this same man who spoke that is now our prophet as we begin
a new era of The Church focused on ministering, does that just give you chills?
As we minister from the inside out---as we first and constantly become better
disciples of Jesus Christ---we know how to minister as parents. We know how
to point them to Jesus Christ in such a way that they are “sin-resistant!”
Let me gently remind you that just like most of the things we have discussed
together in this book, there is no one “right” answer. We must seek for tailored
and specific answers, instructions, and applications of the doctrines and principles.
How we need to teach our children and the ways we need to rear them in love
and righteousness will have different details for each couple, each individual
child in that couple’s stewardship, and from moment to moment even with the
same child.
together in this book, there is no one “right” answer. We must seek for tailored
and specific answers, instructions, and applications of the doctrines and principles.
How we need to teach our children and the ways we need to rear them in love
and righteousness will have different details for each couple, each individual
child in that couple’s stewardship, and from moment to moment even with the
same child.
There are no blanket answers other than to look to the doctrines and the
principles and prayerfully discover the applications within them. Let’s focus
on one doctrine and the supporting principles. I will also offer the suggestion
of one resources to consider as you parent your children.
principles and prayerfully discover the applications within them. Let’s focus
on one doctrine and the supporting principles. I will also offer the suggestion
of one resources to consider as you parent your children.
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